One Big Load of HYPErbull?

Rebel League Management Vanishes Overnight

The Rebound Table Tennis War appears to have ended before it really began, with National HyperBall League (NHBL) management disappearing overnight from their Collins St, Melbourne headquarters.

No notice or warning was given to any of the teams who were scheduled to take part in the 2010 NHBL season, which had continued to be officially scheduled to take place "Later this year", however at this stage in the year this was raising some serious doubts as NHBL management continued to apparently stall, and occasionally sent out glib and sometimes confusing press releases.

A brief statement on the NHBL website (hyperball-league.blogspot.com) simply indicates "We regret to inform our fans that the 2010 HyperBall League Championship will not go ahead", and goes on to cite "several irresolvable logistical and hyperlotastical (sic) issues", but does not go into any further detail.

Teams left in the lurch include all ARTTSL Second-Division sides - North NSW (was Tweed Heads), Darwin, Tasmania, Greater Blacktown, North Queensland, North Melbourne, Ipswich, Adelaide, Geelong. These teams defected to NHBL in July on the promise of inclusion in a First-Division competition and a better share of takings. These promises now appear to have proven to be unsustainable. Their negotiations have failed.

Meanwhile it seems almost certain that the Goulburn club established by NHBL will fold, having never played a ball in any Rebound Table Tennis competition. The local Council have indicated they may consider suing NHBL management for costs they've put into the fledgeling team, which had been struggling due to no funding support from NHBL and had even been practicing with "rolled up pieces of tin foil" for balls. However so little is known of NHBL management it may be difficult even to track them down.

Fans of several defecting clubs are said to be keeping vigil outside the deserted NHBL office, with placards saying things like "WHAT A LOAD OF HYPErbull" and "GIVE ME MY TEAM BACK YOU BASTARDS!"

ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy, who has been apparently leaning towards a compromise, was uncharacteristically stony-faced when met by a media throng this morning outside his Gold Coast holiday home. He simply gave the traditional "V for Victory" sign, in an apparent reference to having won the Rebound Table Tennis War, which could presumably now go down in history as a "War of Nerves".

NHBL clubs now face an apparent certainty of not playing any competition in 2010, and uncertainty as to their futures in 2011. With the NHBL challenge off the table, Tuffy is nolonger in a position to need to negotiate. Any deal could presumably now only be based on goodwill, or the good of the game. However there are also questions of the sustainability of allowing clubs to return, which would lead to an ARTTSL roster of up to 20 teams. A recent independent study commissioned by ARTTSL indicated that 12 to 16 teams was the most economically viable target range for professional Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian region.

The situation is particularly nasty for the new North NSW club, the renamed Tweed Heads portion of the former Gold Coast-Tweed franchise, which split in July to join HyperBall. Gold Coast franchise management have not returned our calls or emails regarding whether they would consider a re-merger with the rebel Tweed Headians.

More as it comes to hand on this breaking story.

Mass Table Collapse in Delhi; Aussie Team Withdraws from Games

The Australian Rebound Table Tennis Squad have formally withdrawn from the Games after what is being described as a "mass, domino-style table collapse" in the new Rebound Table Tennis Stadium.

The team were near the end of their allotted one-hour session, in which teams were permitted to practice on the ten new competition-grade tables to become accustomed to them, when the collapse took place.

Perth player Ian McGovern, clearly still shaken from the incident, spoke to ARTTSL News outside the stadium shortly afterwards.

"It just came out of nowhere mate. One minute we were all practicing on different tables, next thing someone's maybe bumped a table up the end, maybe just nudged it you know nothing serious, nothing like what would happen in a big match, and down it goes. Ka-whump, and it hit the next one, and down it went too, then next thing, we're all like, shocked, looking at each other, then someone yelled 'RUN!', I can't remember who, but they were right 'cause next thing we're all literally running for our lives as the whole lot starts coming down, one after the other - whump whump whump, y'know. It sounded like a freight train. It's lucky noone was hurt. I mean I lost my best bat, the one I scored the winning point in the Pre-Season Trophy with actually, it got kind of pancaked in the table I was on as the backboard fell forward, but I'm more glad I got my hand out mate or I'd be suing the pants off 'em".

Asked if he was disappointed to be going home, a suddenly angry McGovern replied "Yeah. Yeah for sure. It's my first time representing the country. I was surprised to be picked in the first place and I was all revved up and ready to go. I'm gutted, truly. I guess I'll just have to wait for London 2012.... that's a long way off. Bloody hell, what a mess. I mean we knew they built them quick but you'd think they'd take precautions. What the hell did they use, toothpicks?!"

Given the seriousness of the collapse, it's likely the Australian withdrawal is just a formality as it seems unlikely authorities could arrange to re-build in time, and even if they did, it's unlikely anyone would trust that this wouldn't happen again. It appears Rebound Table Tennis will not be part of the 2010 Games.

The team is reportedly already en-route back to ARTTSL's Maroochydore headquarters, where they are expected to be briefed by officials before being released to return home.

The Australian team selection process was mired in controversy after ARTTSL went through with its threat to exclude players contracted to the rival National HyperBall League, shortly before the death of Bernard Elksteine.

3 Hyperball Clubs on Skid Row; Tuffy Extends "Olive Branch"

Rumours are swirling among the Rebound Table Tennis world that at least three HyperBall clubs are on the verge of filing for bankruptcy, being unable to meet their administrative payments.

Several unidentified sources indicate that the difficulties are due to the ongoing delay in the commencement of the 2010 National HyperBall League season, which is still slated to take place "some time later in 2010".

The only identified source is Goulburn Mayor Carol Jones, who, in a stunning statement outside the Big Merino yesterday, slammed HyperBall management for the ongoing delays.

"They rolled into town a few months ago promising big things. Naturally being a small and excitable city we were swept up in the hoo-hah and we put our money where their mouths were. But now it's been months, the honeymoon is over, and while they swan around in their head office down in Melbourne, we've got a small administrative office in Auburn Street going slowly broke as the funds run out. We don't even have enough money for new balls, our players are practicing with rolled up pieces of tin foil for heaven's sake. We'll have to start laying off staff soon. It's not good enough. We need games, we need gate takings. We need action. Nobody is moving forward on this issue".

Meanwhile new ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy has moved quickly, releasing a statement aimed at both HyperBall Management and their clubs, indicating that ARTTSL is willing to let by-gones be by-gones and negotiate a return to the fold for rebel clubs, or even a complete re-unification of the game, albeit under ARTTSL's own terms. This rhetoric is very different to that of late former President Bernard Elksteine, who declared that defecting clubs would not be allowed back to ARTTSL under any circumstances, and later died.

HyperBall management have released a short statement denying that any clubs were in trouble, and reiterating that their 2010 season will take place "some time later in 2010". Well, it's September, and we wait.

We wait....

Elksteine Funeral Thursday

The funeral for late ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine has been booked for 1pm this Thursday, after the Coroner released the body, having found no evidence of foul play.

However many, including ARTTSL officials and Elksteine family members, have questioned the results of the autopsy and continue to believe foul play was involved.

Widow Paticia Elksteine says she has "unanswered questions" after key details she revealed to the police, including their side gate being found wide open after the discovery of the body in Elksteine's office at the back of the home, have not been addressed in the final report on the investigation.

"I don't know where to go to from here right now" said Mrs Elksteine outside the couple's Maroochydore home, "but we've decided to go ahead with the funeral. I need to lay my husband to rest, but I will continue to pursue this. I just don't believe Bernie died of a heart attack. I'll keep fighting this in the courts".

The service will take place at 1pm on Thursday at St Brians Cathedral, Maroochydore. Nineties shock jock mistress Esmerelda Chocolatine will perform a specially-written number, "You're Still My Big Orange Ball", at the service.

Other celebrity guests expected are Illawarra's Number 1 fan Wendell Sailer, and South and North New Zealand Mascots The Big Pippee and the Big Peter Jackson, who have called an unexpected truce in their ongoing war of words as a sign of respect for Elksteine.

In other news, former ARTTSL Treasurer Wilkington Tuffy has been confirmed as the new ARTTSL President, and will formally take over the reigns from the Board as of next week. Tuffy has promised to help in whatever way he can in efforts to discover the "truth" behind Elksteine's death.

Tuffy is widely expected to take a more stabilising and less reformist approach to management, and has even been tipped to be willing to consider negotiating with Hyperball Management to bring an end to the Rebound Table Tennis war, with some sort of compromise deal to unite the two organisations. However Tuffy would likely have a tough job convincing many senior officials to join him in negotiations, many see the Rebound Table Tennis War as one solely of attrition in which one or the other organisation will fall in the end.

Bernard Elksteine Found Dead in Maroochydore Home

ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine has been found dead in his Maroochydore home.

Early reports indicate that Elksteine's wife, Patricia, found the 45-year-old Rebound Table Tennis supremo slumped over his desk in his study at the back of the couple's Maroochydore home about 12:30pm today while bringing him his lunch, a bacon and peanut butter sandwich.

Paramedics were called to the house, but Elksteine was pronounced dead immediately.

The death comes just hours after the announcement that all Second-Division clubs, and the Tweed Heads portion of ARTTSL runners up Gold Coast-Tweed, had defected to HyperBall.

A spokesman from Queensland Health spoke briefly to the media, stating that while an autopsy would be performed, the most likely cause of death from initial observations of the body was a heart attack, and that murder or suicide seemed unlikely at this stage. He said it was apparent Elksteine had been dead in his study for up to two hours before being discovered.

However the timing of the death is already sparking a media frenzy with speculation that Elksteine may have been murdered by one of many enemies he is believed to have had in the Rebound Table Tennis world. Elksteine had been reported to have received threats, and indeed a number of subtly threatening comments have been posted on this very blog from time to time.
A neighbour, who identified herself only as "Mrs C", spoke to the media. "They were a lovely couple. He was nothing like they made him out to be on TV. He was very down to Earth. Sometimes he'd mow my lawn for me. But he didn't eat very well and could have stood to lose a little weight. Almost every day I'd see him arrive home through my front window carrying some sort of take away food for dinner. Still, I'm just devastated".

Elksteine was known for his high living, particularly in regard to food and alcohol, often visiting steakhouses and chickenhouses on his wide travels as ARTTSL Director. As recently as last night he was known to be dining while having his hair done at Kingswood Chicken Man and Hair, in Sydney's west, when the news of the defections broke.

While Elksteine often feigned disinterest in the HyperBall breakaway issue, many suspected this was a front and were actually concerned for his health and well-being, his wife Patricia being amoung those to voice concerns. A long-time friend recently spoke out in the media about Elksteine's deep-seated fear of losing control of the empire he'd built up over 15 years, saying this was taking a toll and driving his eating and drinking habits.

BERNARD ELKSTEINE, 1965-2010

Bernard Elksteine was born in Ipswich, Queensland, in 1965 to German immigrant parents Elma and Elka. The young Bernard showed early promise in all sports that involved rebounding of some form. He was Australian Junior Squash and Trampoline champion simultaneously in 1982, at age 17, and two years later competed in the World Airhockey Campionships in Los Angeles, an event held in parallel with the Olympic Games. Elksteine was said to be keen to qualify to compete for Australia in squash at the 1988 Olympics, but unable to cope with coming second in the World Airhockey Championships, Elksteine soon after sank into a period of depression and ultimately never reached his potential in rebound sports.

Elksteine's life is said to have turned around when, in 1995 at age 30, while living on the streets in Brisbane, he met Rebound Table Tennis legend Jimmy Spring, who employed him at his Rebound Table Tennis Dojo in Ipswich. It was here that Elksteine developed his management skills, and by 1998 his rebound was complete, as he was all but running the dojo. After the childless Spring's tragic death in a road accident in 1999, Elksteine inherited the Spring Rebound Table Tennis Dojo.

Seeing the wider potential for Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian Region, Elksteine was able to use the funds generated from the Spring enterprise to expand his system nationally, and in so doing set up a junior player development program.

The program led to the game's popularity flourishing and establishment of large dojos in many major centres across Austalia, New Zealand and later in Singapore in 2006.

The growth culmunated in the establishment of the Austalasian Rebound Table Tennis Super League in 2009, with investors throwing their money behind ARTTSL with Elksteine as President. This set Elksteine up as the unquestionable Rebound Table Tennis Supremo in the Australasian region. As all clubs are franchises owned by ARTTSL, they were ultimately controlled by Elksteine and had little say in their own affairs when it came to major decisions. Elksteine used this power to create, disband, merge and relegate clubs at will.

Elksteine was often criticised for his management style, which was described as "officious and autocratic". The fast expansion of the game under Elksteine's relentless drive and work ethic, particularly the establishment of a Second-Division competition, became largely unpopular with many involved in the game, and is seen as having ultimately sparked the Hyperball breakaway, with many keen to wrest control of the sport from Elksteine.

There was a litany of other points of tension, including the way revenues were distributed among clubs, and how draws were established, such as this year's Pre-Season Trophy in which Second-Division clubs had to play an extra game to qualify.

The future of ARTTSL now rests with the Board, who will meet in coming days to decide how to fill the substantial Elksteine void.

Tweed Heads + Second-Division Teams Defect!

All ARTTSL Second-Division sides, plus Tweed Heads, have formally defected to HyperBall and plan to play in their season later this year.

The Tweed Heads entry will be based in Tweed Heads but play under the name North NSW.

ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine has confirmed from Kingswood Chicken Man (where he was getting a haircut) that the matter is the subject of legal action just as soon as he finished his 3 chicken and chips and style cut, "And a beer across the road at the Kingo". The characteristic response is again likely an attempt to play down the HyperBall threat, but many believe he will soon be choking on his chicken rump as the HyperBall juggernaut gathers momentum.

It is now seen as unlikely that ARTTSL's Second-Division championship will preceed and that bottom three teams from this year's First Division Premiership, Perth, Melboune and Illawarra, are safe in First Division for next year's season, at least for now. However Elksteine hasn't ruled out forming new teams, although this is seen as unlikely being very difficult to administer.

More to come.

Newcastle Win Grand Final, Gold Coast-Tweed in Tatters

Newcastle are the 2010 ARTTSL Premiers, defeating Gold Coast-Tweed in the Grand Final in Newcastle.

The win caps off a metioric rise for Newcastle, having won Second Division in their first season last year, progressing to First Division and again winning on their first attempt.

By contrast, the Gold Coast-Tweed syndicate is in tatters, with the Tweed Heads Rebound Table Tennis Federation sensationally withdrawing from the joint venture with Gold Coast United hours after the match. No further meaning has been given to the withdrawal but there is strong speculation Tweed Heads may be considering entering its own team in Hyperball this year, a move that would likely result in legal action from ARTTSL as the club was contractually bound to only play in ARTTSL this year.

No formal announcement has been made, however a popular theory among analysts is that the fall-out in the joint venture began as early as the Quarter Final loss to Newcastle, with Tweed Heads management dissatisfied with tactics and team selections, after a number of their former junior players were left out of the squad.

It has been suggested that Hyperball have remained quiet in recent week, awaiting the completion of the ARTTSL season, after which they will announce their championship roster which would include a team based in Tweed Heads, and possibly covering a significant portion of the NSW North Coast. This may gain them more support in NSW where many people refused to follow a team which, despite playing half their games in Tweed Heads, were formally a Queensland team based on the Gold Coast.

Some have further suggested Tweed Heads were having an each-way bet, waiting to see if the joint venture team won the Grand Final before deciding whether to remain with the ARTTSL venture or defect to Hyperball. However these sensational claims have not been substantiated and all of the above is speculation at this stage.

Back to the match itself, it was a freezing winter night in Newcastle which many Newcastle fans believed would prove difficult for the northern visitors. However it was Newcastle who started unsteadily with some weak serving and at time bizarre serving options, however the scoreline remained close to half time, with Gold Coast-Tweed leading 6-4 at the break.

In the second half Gold Coast-Tweed turned up the power, seemingly deciding the match was there to be taken, and at first this seemed to be putting pressure on Newcastle, however Newcastle steadied and managed to lead 8-7 as they took their last service set.

A crucial turning point occurred when resident dog Ralph got hold of the ball. It was retrieved but was covered in slobber, and, as per garage table tennis rules, which fully apply in ARTTSL, dog slobber is part of the game. The resultant change in trajectory may have been the final undoing of Gold Coast-Tweed, who finally slipped to an 11-8 loss, handing the 2010 Premiership to Newcastle.

So ends the 2010 ARTTSL Season. The Second Division season is scheduled to be played later this year, if there are sufficient Second-Division teams for it to take place. All eyes now turn to the sleeping giant of Hyperball and if and when any teams will defect.

One thing is for certain, the war for control of Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian region has only just begun.

Asked for his thoughts on the looming war, ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine replied, "Hey, we're in Newcastle. Don't hey have a Sizzler here?.... Great let's go!"

Confident words indeed from the President, but many think he will be choking on his $20 rump when Hyperball announce their full intentions for 2010.

GRAND FINAL RESULT:
Newcastle 11 d Gold Coast-Tweed 8 (at Newcastle)

Gold Coast-Tweed Book Grand Final Showdown with Newcastle

Minor Premiers Gold Coast-Tweed have redeemed their Quarter Final loss and booked a Grand Final showdown with Newcastle, breaking Sydney's 6-game winning streak in the Semi Final on the Gold Coast.

Both sides in fact came into the match having only lost once since Round 7. Both sides looked nervous as Gold Coast-Tweed served first and Sydney sent the ball skyward and out of the stadium. The game was scrappy early on as they battled to 5-5 at half time. It was unusual to watch as both these sides are normally very composed.

The second half saw the scrappiness continue as both sides made unforced errors as they progressed to 7-all. At this point Gold Coast-Tweed seemed to regain focus while Sydney continued to make errors. Gold Coast-Tweed moved to a 10-7 lead and finally won the match 11-8.

So after 71 matches and 1,324 points it comes down to arguably the two form sides who have traded the top two spots throughout the season. They have met twice on the Gold Coast and have won once each. It's a difficult one to pick, but Newcastle do tend to perform well at home, but Gold Coast-Tweed are a class side and will be hard to beat, however they will need to shake off the scrappy play they showed in overcoming Sydney.

ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine has congratulated both teams on making the Grand Final, calling them the "cream of the crop" and stating these are the sorts of sides that deserve to be in ARTTSL's First Division, an apparent side-swipe at the Second-Divisions sides rumoured to be about to defect to the rival Hyperball League.

There is no further word of developments in Hyperball. There are fears however that they are preparing for a big announcement of team defections to take attention away from ARTTSL's Grand Final.

SEMI FINAL RESULT:
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Sydney 8 (at Gold Coast)

GRAND FINAL:
Newcastle vs Gold Coast-Tweed (at Newcastle)

Newcastle Claim First Grand Final Spot, South New Zealand Out

Newcastle have turned the tables on Minor Premiers Gold Coast-Tweed in their Quarter Final on the Gold Coast, earning another week off and the Grand Final at home in Newcastle.

Both signs were showing nerves as it took 6 attempts to get the mandatory shots over the net to decide who would serve first. Finally Gold Coast-Tweed won first serve but slipped to 4-6 by half-way through the match. From there Gold Coast-Tweed looked shaky and uncertain as Newcastle settled and moved to a 9-6 lead. From 10-7 Gold Coast-Tweed managed to fight back to 10-9, but the matched ended with what was arguable the point of the season as both sides traded base-line smashes before Newcastle prevailing with an amazing shot to the edge of the table that Gold Coast-Tweed couldn't possibly reac, securing an 11-9 win.

Meanwhile in Christchurch, South New Zealand started the match on fire against a sloppy-looking Sydney hoping to continue their 5-match winning streak. South New Zealand appeared to have a tactic to smash Sydney off the table, howeve despite poor early form Sydney managed to hold on at 4-6 at half time. The match then turned in terms of style and Sydney went into power mode, at times missing the mark and sending the ball over the backboard and out of the stadium. The tactic eventually paid off though as South New Zealand lost focus, despite the urgings of their Mascot The Big Peter Jackson, and slipped to 7-10. Sydney secured the 11-7 win with a fortunate bounce off the net that left South New Zealand short-footed.

The result ends South New Zealand's season, a result they were disappointed with after keeping touch with the top teams for most of the season. Sydney will travel to the Gold Coast to play Gold Coast-Tweed for the second Grand Final spot against Newcastle.

Sydney continue a remarkable run, having won 6 matches in a row since Round 8, before which they were down on 9th and looking at risk of ending up in the relegation zone.

QUARTER FINAL RESULTS:
Newcastle 11 d Gold Coast-Tweed 9 (at Gold Coast)
Sydney 11 d South New Zealand 7 (at Christchurch)

SEMI FINAL:
Week off: Newcastle
Gold Coast-Tweed v Sydney (at Gold Coast)

South New Zealand and Sydney Through to Week 2

South New Zealand and Sydney have won their sudden death ARTTSL Preliminary Finals, beating Sunshine Coast and Singapore respectively, whose seasons are now over.

It was a case of deja-vu in Christchurch where South New Zealand and Sunshine Coast met for the second week in a row, having coincidentally played in round 11, with the Kiwi side prevailing there.

Sunshine Coast were keen to turn the tables this week. The match was played fast and bitter and South New Zealand gained an early 5-3 lead, before Sunshine Coast won 6 of the next seven points to take a seamingly match-winning 9-6 lead. However South New Zealand regained focus to win 5 straight points and the match 11-9.

South New Zealand mascot the Big Peter Jackson was ecstatic and surprised the crowd and players alike by doing some celebratory cartwheels.

"Mate, I've lost all this weight, I might as well make the most of it", Jackson said in the post-match press-conference. "I smell a Premiership again". The last time Jackson uttered those words on camera South New Zealand hit a slump for several weeks, so clearly Jackson is feeling very confident with their chances now.

Meanwhile across the pond, Sydney hosted Singapore in a match that demonstrated how ARTTSL has taken rebound table tennis to a new level. The match featured many long and fast points. Although both sides were on form, Singapore suffered a mix of bad luck and loose shots after long rallies to go down 11-2 in a disapointing end to their season.

Sydney will now travel to Christchurch to play South New Zealand in next week's second Quarter Final. The loser will be out, while the winner will progress to the Semi Final to face the loser of the first Quarter Final between Gold Coast-Tweed and Newcastle. The winner of the first Quarter Final will secure the first Grand Final spot and earn another week off.

PRELIMINARY FINAL RESULTS:
South New Zealand 11 d Sunshine Coast 9 (at Christchurch)
Sydney 11 d Singapore 2 (at Sydney)

QUARTER FINALS
Gold Coast-Tweed vs Newcastle (at Gold Coast)
South New Zealand vs Sydney (at Christchurch)

Round 11: Sydney, Singapore Claim Last 2 Finals Spots

Sydney and Singapore have claimed the last two spots in the ARTTSL Finals series after winning must-win final matches in Round 11.

The four sides still facing uncertainty were forced to wait intil the end of the round though. First up was confirmed wooden spooners Illawarra at home to Brisbane. Keen to avoid the bottom-three relegation zone, Brisbane thrashed Illawarra who tried bravely to put up a fight. Illawarra's final point summed up their season by leaving the last ball to go through, having thought it was going out, to lose by a dismal 11-2. The win lifted Brisbane to 8th and out of the relegation zone.

Next up Newcastle wanted a big win over Melbourne in Newcastle to have some hope of catching Gold Coast-Tweed for the Minor Premiership, and started well, racing to a 9-1 lead, only to lose focus and let Melbourne pull it back to finish going down 11-6.

Ultimately Newcastle's score was irrelevant as Gold Coast-Tweed thrashed Perth 11-6. The result clinched the Minor Premiership for Gold Coast-Tweed, and left Perth 10th and hence the bottom-three relegation zone with Melbourne and Illawarra. As to whether any sides are relegated depends on whether there is a second division as ARTTSL still awaits an further announcements from the mysterious Hyperball League.

South New Zealand and Sunshine Coast were both assured of making the finals, but the match in Christchurch was still crucial as the winner would secure 3rd spot and hence home finals in the first two weeks of the finals, contingent on winning each week. South New Zealand took a comforatble 7-3 lead and held it to the end to win 11-6. The result left Sushine Coast 6th on the ladder and hence now needing to win four away finals to win the Premiership, the first ironically being against South New Zealand again in week 1.

With Singapore, Canberra, North New Zealand and Sydney all on 10 points in equal 5th, both became sudden death with only the winners moving into the top 6 on 12 points.

Canberra appeared to have lost their mojo in the trip to Singapore, never troubling them and going down 11-2. The loss ended a disastrous end to the season which saw Canberra lose their last four games after looking in contention for the Minor Premiership earlier.

Sydney travelled to Auckland to challenge North New Zealand for the final spot. Despite being gee'd up their mascot the Big Pippie and a big home crowd, Auckland were sloppy and slipped to 7-3 early and finally went down weakly 11-7. The win moved Sydney up to 4th on for and against and secured a home final in week 1 against Singapore.

Round 11 Results:
Brisbane 11 d Illawarra 1 (at Wollongong)
South New Zealand 11 d Sunshine Coast 6 (at Christchurch)
Newcastle 11 d Melbourne 6 (at Newcastle)
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Perth 6 (at Perth)
Singapore 11 d Canberra 2 (at Singapore)
Sydney 11 d North New Zealand 7 (at Auckland)

Preliminary Finals:
Week off: Gold Coast-Tweed, Newcastle
P1: South New Zealand vs Sunshine Coast (at Christchurch)
P2: Sydney vs Singapore (at Sydney)

ARTTSL Team Staff Resign, First Hyperball Team Announced

Staff from a number of ARTTSL Second-Division clubs have formally resigned from their positions, presumably to take up positions in the same clubs when they formally defect to the National Hyperball League.

This being the reason for the resignations has not been confirmed, however the National Hyperball League website has announced the establishment of a new team in Goulburn, which presumably will be additional to any clubs defecting from ARTTSL.

The resignation and re-employment of staff is possibly one way to avoid any ramifications for individual staff over a defection as they would not have formally been an employee of the club at the time of the defection being enacted.

Currently most Second-Division sides are techincally only staffed by a CEO and a few cleaners. It is possible in most cases that CEO's will administer the defections entirely by their own hand.

Director Bernard Elksteine again reaffirmed that any ARTTSL club defecting to Hyperball will be permanently eliminated from all ARTTSL competitions.

"We will also look into serious, expensive and long-running legal action if necessary", Elksteine added.

More as it comes to hand.

Meanwhile First Division clubs continue with preparations from round 11 with most taking little notice of the storm which has engulfed the Second-Division clubs.

ARTTSL Top 6 Finals System

A reminder of the ARTTSL Top 6 Finals System.

Note: All matches are played on the primary home table of the top-ranked team.

PRELIMINARY FINALS (week 1) - The top two positions are rewarded with the first week off. Meanwhile 3rd plays 6th and 4th plays 5th, with the losers of both matches out of the finals.

QUARTER FINALS (week 2) - Teams 1 and 2 play each other, with the winner going through to the Grand Final and hence another week off. Meanwhile the survivors from the matches in round 1 play each other, with the loser of that match also out.

SEMI FINALS (week 3) - The loser of the 1 v 2 match plays the last survivor from 3rd to 6th, with the winner securing the second Grand Final spot.

GRAND FINAL (week 4) - between the last two surviving teams.

Now, for the egg-heads, here it is in a more mathematical form:

PRELIMINARY FINALS
(1st and 2nd have week off)
Game P1: 3rd v 6th
Game P2: 4th v 5th

QUARTER FINALS
Game Q1: 1st v 2nd
Game Q2: Winner of P1 v Winnner of P2

SEMI FINALS
(Winner of Q1 has week off)
Game S1: Loser of Q1 v Winner of Q2

GRAND FINAL
Winner of Q1 v Winner of S1

Gold Coast-Tweed Secure Minor Premiership

Gold Coast-Tweed have all but secured the Minor Premiership after defeating Newcastle on the Gold Coast.

The Novocastrians arrived all revved up for an upset, but Gold Coast-Tweed were clinical as ever in an intense match that saw the sides close up to 5-5 before Newcastle appeared to come undone in their focus and slipped to 9-6, and finally an 11-8 loss.

The win puts Gold Coast-Tweed two points clear of Newcastle on top and with a 10-point for-and-against differential it is unlikely Newcastle can catch them in the final round. Newcastle is also almost assured of second spot, meaning the sides will meat again on the Gold Coast in the second week of the finals in the play-off for the home Grand Final.

Perth and Brisbane's finals hopes both came to a premature end. With varying fortunes (Brisbane surprisingly thrashing South New Zealand 11-3 and Perth narrowly losing to Melbourne 11-9), neither side can make the final six. Although only two points out of the top six on 8 with one round to go, the four sides in equal fifth on 10 points each play one another in the final round (Singapore v Canberra and North New Zealand v Sydney), hence two of those sides will advance to 12 points, locking Perth and Brisbane out of the top 6 regardless of their own results.

Melbourne's win over Perth assures them of avoiding the wooden spoon, being two points clear and a massive 23 for-and-against points differential ahead of last-placed Illawarra. South New Zealand were shocked to lose so heavily to Brisbane and their mascot the Big Peter Jackson was saying no more of his "I smell a premiership" comments of last round. The side must now focus on their round 11 match against Sunshine Coast which will decide third spot in the finals.

Sydney continued their excellent run, thrashing visitors Singapore 11-3 in Sydney and pushing their way into the top 6. Singapore appeared to be suffering from travel weariness against a focussed Sydney side.

Illawarra were determined to end their losing streak and avoid the wooden spoon, but it wasn't to be as they went down 11-9 to Sunshine Coast in Maroochydore. The match ended unfortunately with many Sushine Coast fans ridiculing the Illawarra players, prompting Sunshine Coast captain Tom Wilson to apologise on their behalf. "This is not the spirit we try to engender up here and we're sorry. We're sure Illawarra will come back to better things in the future after a tough first season in First Division.

Canberra continued their late-season slide, landing in 6th spot on the ladder after losing to North New Zealand 11-6. North New Zealand held on to a 2-point lead for most of the match. The turning point was a double fault from Canberra towards the end which seemed to break their focus for the rest of the match. It seems so little time since Canberra played their top-of-the-table clash with Newcastle in round 8.

The stage is set for the final round. Although positions one and two are all but wrapped up, and the bottom four are locked out, the four-way battle for the last two spots - Singapore v Canberra and North New Zealand v Sydney - promises to be exciting. Also third and fourth-placed South New Zealand and Sunshine Coast have much to play for as the winner will secure third spot and hence home finals for the first two weeks of the finals in the battle to take on the top two sides in the final 2 weeks of the finals.

ROUND 10 RESULTS
Sydney 11 d Singapore 3 (at Sydney)
Brisbane 11 d South New Zealand 2 (at Brisbane)
Sunshine Coast 11 d Illawarra 9 (at Maroochydore)
Melbourne 11 d Perth 9 (at Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Newcastle 8 (at Gold Coast)
North New Zealand 11 d Canberra 6 (at Canberra)

ROUND 11 DRAW
Illawarra v Brisbane (in Wollongong)
South New Zealand v Sunshine Coast (in Christchurch)
Newcastle v Melbourne (in Newcastle)
Perth v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Perth)
Singapore v Canberra (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v Sydney (in Auckland)

Round 9 - Gold-Coast Tweed in Front, Ultimate Showdown For Round 10

Gold Coast-Tweed has edged in front of Newcastle for the second time this season, drawing level on points and leading on for and against.

The stage is set for the ultimate top-of-the-table showdown in round 10, the penultimate round of the regular season, with Gold Coast-Tweed hosting Newcastle. Both sides will be keen for the win to put themselves in the box seat of the minor premiership, and hence a home final in week 2 and a chance to secure the home Grand Final.

The two sides are poised to claim the lucrative top 2 finals positions, with only South New Zealand 2 points behind have any chance of knocking them off, although South New Zealand's for and against is very low so they would need to win both their remaining matches and hope for one of the top two to lose both of theirs.

The top two spots are valuable under the finals system, with both those sides earning the first week off, then playing in week 2 with the winner securing the home Grand Final. The loser then has a second chance, playing the last remaining side from sudden death matches between sides 3 to 6 (over the first 2 weeks) to decide the second Grand Final spot.

The system has had some criticism for the differential in opportunity but many others argue that this is valid as a reward for finishing in the top 2.

In match 1, former top-spot-contenders Canberra continued their slide, going down in a nail-biter in Perth. Initially leading 7-3, the side from the national capital seemed to lose focus and allowed Perth to get back to a 10-8 lead. Canberra then managed to square it up at 10-10. In extra time, Perth had 5 match points and Canberra 2, Perth finally prevailling 17-15 in the second-highest ARTTSL score ever (the highest being 19-17 to Melbourne over Illawarra in round 6 this year).

Newcastle hosted Sydney and were keen to hold onto their number 1 spot. The match was close throughout. One early point was replayed after the officials said they could not tell if a Sydney shot had nicked the table. This angered the Newcastle crowd who were sure it went out. However soon after they were smiling again when Sydney left a ball they thought was going out but it actually hit the table.

In Christchurch, having heard the result of Newcastle's loss, South New Zealand's ever-excitable mascot the Big Peter Jackson was talking up their chances of taking the top spot from Newcastle by the end of the season. "I smell a premiership", Jackson said. However it wasn't to be as the side went down to Singapore. They let 9-6 and looked the better side, but Singapore dug deep and win five straight points to win 11-9. Singapore captain Soon Chai Goh was later over-heard retorting to Jackson's earlier remark "I smell you!"

In Wollongong, Illawarra's finals hopes crashed and burnt in a style not unlike much of their season, as they went down 11-4 against an in-form North New Zealand.

Melbourne's finals hopes also came to an end against Sunshine Coast in Maroochydore, albeit in more of a fighting style in a close match that was neck and neck to the end until Sunshine Coast prevailed 11-9. It was a sad end to the 2009 premiers' campaign and leaves them now to fight against Illawarra to avoid the wooden spoon and possible relegation as part of the bottom 3, which is very likely now, barring all Second-Division sides breaking away to another competition which presumable would mean no relegations, although ARTTSL management are tight-lipped on what this would mean for the relegatees and whether they would look to replace any departing sides.

Finally, having also heard news of Newcastle's loss, Gold Coast-Tweed were less focussed on the situation in the points table and seemed to play the game on the table tennis table in their usual style. They started brilliantly leading 5-0 after winning all of their serves, only for Brisbane to do the same on their serves and draw level 5-5. Gold Coast-Tweed remained remarkably composed and edged ahead to an 11-7 win. Many said this was the turning point for the season, and the bookies seem to agree with Gold Coast-Tweed supassing Newcastle as favourites for the 2011 ARTTSL premiership at odd of $1.80. Newcastle have slipped out to $2.10.

Mystery Website/Emails Fuel Speculation That Breakaway League is Imminent

A mystery website with a logo showing the name National HyperBall League has been reported to have appeared on the internet.

The report fuels further speculation of a breakaway league involving Second-Division Clubs, as well as some new clubs or some existing first division sides, most likely with some radical rule changes to try to entice viewers away from ARTTSL.

All second-division clubs have again disavowed any knowledge of a breakaway league, but rumours are spreading of a secret consortium, staffed by representatives of interested clubs, tasked with setting up the League's framework before suddenly announcing a breakaway.

The name Hyperball appeared on the mystery memorandum that surfaced earlier this month.

The site contains no further information and could be a hoax. However, ominously, it has also been reported that some ARTTSL subscribers have received email notifications directing them to the HyperBall site, saying "Sick of Rebound Table Tennis?... Hyperball is coming...", which suggests ARTTSL's email lists may have been hacked, possibly by an insider.

President Bernard Elksteine has made a very short statement outside ARTTSL headquarters, which seemed to suggest ARTTSL is now taking the threat of a break-away very seriously.

Elksteine simply said "Any ARTTSL club that enters into any formal agreement with another league will be permanently excluded from ARTTSL. We expect the Second-Division championship to proceed as expected later this year and look forward to it. We will not have anything to do with any breakaway league and will not enter into any negotiations. Their negotiations will fail. As for possible hacking of our email lists, if this has happened we apologise in advance to our subscribers and will launch a full investigation to get to the bottom of it".

Elksteine refused to answer any questions from the media scrum.

More to come as matters develop. Meanwhile all sides will continue their preparation as normal for round 9 of ARTTSL first division, the third-last round before the finals.

For legal reasons we cannot post the address of the HyperBall site in this news feed.

Round 8 - Newcastle Hold Onto Top Spot, Mascot Tempers Boil Over in New Zealand

Newcastle have held on to the top spot on the ARTTSL ladder with a comfortable win over second-placed Canberra in the National Capital

The short-priced premiership favourites showed no signs of fatigue in a fast-paced match, even after being forced to spend a cold Canberra night in their bus after a motel mix-up. The Novacastrians led 7-3 and were never troubled as they cruised an 11-5 victory over a disappointing Canberra. The loss sees Canberra drop to fourth of the table behind Gold Coast-Tweed and South New Zealand.

Across the Tasman in Wellington the New Zealand local derby may not have lived up to the hype on the court, with South New Zealand easily crushing North New Zealand 11-5, but it lived up to the hype of the mascots as the Big Pippie and Big Peter Jackson came to blows after the first three points. The Big Pippie allegedly made a comment about Jackson's latest film, The Lovely Bones, being a "gayed-up chick flick". In return Jackson attempted to remove the Big Pippie's outfit to reveal his/her true identity, but was stopped by security. Both mascots were led away and forced to watch the rest of the match from a TV in the stadium security room.

Up in Queensland, in the local derby of the Brisbane satellite cities, third-placed Gold Coast-Tweed easily beach Sunshine Coast after racing to a 5-0 lead and coming away with an 11-4 win. In this case there were no apparent tensions on court despite the exchanges in an earlier press conference between the teams' captains and coaches.

Sydney scored a much-needed win against Perth in front of packed Acer Arena in Sydney which included NSW Premier Kristine Kinninmonth. Kinninmonth was seen to be weeping as Sydney cruised to an 11-3 victory. It was said to be her only good news all week. The win lifts Sydney within two points of the top six.

In Singapore, Illawarra fought desperately to avert yet another loss, but went down to Singapore. After trailing 5-0 and then 10-5, Illawarra rallied and won three of the required five points needed to force extra time, but their first shot in the next point went loosely into the net to secure Singapore an 11-8 win which lifted them into the top 6.

Finally in Brisbane it was a replay of last year's ARTTSL Grand Final against premiers Melbourne, but ironically this time it was a battle to stay in contention for the finals. Brisbane were clearly the better team as they raced to a 7-3 lead, only to lose four straight points as Melbourne drew level at 7-7. The match went to extra time with Brisbane just squeezing out the win 13-11. The loss leaves Melbourne at the bottom of the table with Illawarra on four points, four points out of the top six with three rounds to go. The season is looking all but over for both sides.

At the top of the table, with three rounds to go Newcastle have maintained their 2-point lead over Gold Coast-Tweed and South New Zealand. Canberra slip two points behind on 10 points. Singapore and Sunshine Coast round out the top 6 on 8 points. Sydney, Perth, Brisbane and North New Zealand, all on 6 points, can still hold out hope of making the finals with a few wins. Melbourne and Illawarra are left with the likelihood of missing the finals and more worryingly they face a real risk of relegation to ARTTSL Second Division in 2012.

ROUND 8 RESULTS:
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Sunshine Coast 4 (at Tweed Heads)
Newcastle 11 d Canberra 5 (at Canberra)
Sydney 11 d Perth 3 (at Sydney)
Singapore 11 d Illawarra 8 (at Singapore)
South New Zealand 11 d North New Zealand 5 (at Wellington)
Brisbane 13 d Melbourne 11 (at Melbourne)

ROUND 9 DRAW:
Perth v Canberra (in Perth)
Newcastle v Sydney (in Newcastle)
South New Zealand v Singapore (in Christchurch)
Illawarra v North New Zealand (in Wollongong)
Sunshine Coast v Melbourne (in Sunshine Coast)
Brisbane v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Brisbane)

Tensions High Ahead of Top-of-Table Clashes and Local Derbies

Round 8 of the ARTTSL First Division Championship promises to be the best yet, with tensions building and a number of incidents in recent days ahead of the clashes tonight.

Newcastle have had a difficult lead-up to their top-of-the-table clash with Canberra after being locked out of their motel. The team arrived in Fishwick at 11pm after their bus broke down at Goulburn McDonald's and needed emergency service. On arrival they found the motel front office closed for the night and were forced to sleep in their bus on a cold Canberra night. This was despite calls ahead to the motel to say they were running late. Motel management have strenuously denied intentionally leaving the side locked out to help their local team.

On the other side of the Tasman, ahead of the local Derby between North New Zealand and South New Zealand, tensions between the respective mascots the Big Pippie and the Big Peter Jackson (recently revealed to be the real Peter Jackson) boiled over in a Wellington Nightclub.

Players and the mascots from both sides arrived at the nightclub at similar times and were reported to be heckling one other for about an hour. Finally the Big Pippie allegedly made a barb about the Big Peter Jackson "not being a real mascot as he didn't wear a costume", to which Jackson allegedly replied, "Then I'll do what they say should be done to mascots in a suit", and tackled the Big Pippie. A number of players from both sides were drawn into the melee.

The match tonight in Wellington is expected to be highly charged with tensions from the fight far from resolved. There are suggestions the mascots may be directed to remain on either side of the table, but whether they follow such an instruction remains to be seen.

Meanwhile tense words were exchanged in a media conference involving the coaches and captains of Gold Coast-Tweed and Sunshine Coast ahead of their local derby match in Tweed Heads. The sides are placed 3rd and 5th respectively on the table and are both keen for the win to consolidate their tilt for the finals. Gold Coast-Tweed captain Scott Mince at one point said "The Sunshine Coast, it's not a real team, it's not a real city is it?", to which Sunshine Coast coach Pedro Spencer replied "Well, at least we're all Queenslanders up there".

All round 8 matches are scheduled to take place tonight. With three rounds remaining after this, it is seen as a crucial round that may be the turning point in the fortunes of many clubs as we head towards the finals.

Round 7 - Lead Pack Emerges With 4 Rounds to Go

The top four sides have asserted themselves as ARTTSL Premiership contenders, all winning in round 7 and forming a clear leading group with four rounds remaining.

Newcastle remains two points clear at the top on 12 points, followed by Canberra, Gold Coast-Tweed and South New Zealand on 10. The Sunshine Coast is chasing close behind on 8 points. The remaining 7 sides follow on 6 and 4 points, suggesting there should be a close scramble for the last few top six spots.

Singapore crushed visitors Melbourne 11-4 in Sigapore in a straight-foward match in which the premiers showed very little for to be happy about.

North New Zealand pushed visitors Gold Coast-Tweed to the end in Auckland in a see-sawing encounter that ended in an 11-4 win to the home side.

Illawarra hosted Canberra and a huge crowd turned up to try to push them to perform better than many recent performances, but again they were beaten comprehensively 11-4.

South New Zealand and Sydney played a close match in Christchurch up to 8-8, before Sydney collapsed to go down 11-8.

Competition leaders Newcastle led visitors Brisbane 4-0 early, only for Brisbane to level at 4-4. Again Brisbane came back from deficits of 7-5 to 7-7 and 9-7 to 9-9. The pattern remained to the end with Newcaslte winning 12-10 in extra time.

Finally Perth hosted the Sunshine coast. The match was close up to 9-9 before Sunshine Coast won the final two points to secure an 11-9 win.

Round 8 promises to be exciting and crucial as some top sides will go head-to-head - In a top-of-the-table clash, leaders Newcastle will play second-placed Canberra in the National Capital. The match is a wrestle for the top spot as Canberra go into the match with better for-and-against than Newcastle, so if they pick up the two points they will move to P1.

Meanwhile third-placed Gold Coast-Tweed will host fifth-placed Sunshine Coast.

Round 8 also sees the New Zealand local derby as North New Zealand host South New Zealand in National Capital Wellington.
Team mascots the Big Pippie and the Big Peter Jackson have both been talking up the match and are rumoured to have developed a dislike for each other which could boil over during the match.


ROUND 7 RESULTS:
Singapore 11 d Melbourne 4 (at Singapore)
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d North New Zealand 9 (at Auckland)
Canberra 11 d Illawarra 4 (at Wollongong)
South New Zealand 11 d Sydney 8 (at Queenstown)
Newcastle 12 d Brisbane 10 (at Newcastle)
Sunshine Coast 11 d Perth 9 (at Perth)


ROUND 8 DRAW:
Gold Coast-Tweed v Sunshine Coast (in Tweed Heads)
Canberra v Newcastle (in Canberra)
Sydney v Perth (in Sydney)
Singapore v Illawarra (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v South New Zealand (in Wellington)
Melbourne v Brisbane (in Melbourne)

Round 6 - Exhibition Round Sees Newcastle Back on Top

Gold Coast-Tweed have slipped from first to third on the ARTTSL table after losing to South New Zealand in Suva, Fiji. A disappointingly small local crowd was swelled slightly by a respectable contingent of Kiwi's, whooped up by the Big Peter Jackson, as South New Zealand raced away early to a 5-0 lead, only for Gold Coast-Tweed to race back to 7-7. South New Zeland inched out an 11-8 win from there.

Perth arguably played a home match against North New Zealand with many West Australians hopping on a camel and heading to Madura, Western Australia. The match was close up to 5-5 before Perth edged away, helped to two double-faults by North New Zealand in the final points, to win 11-6. ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine refused to comment on the proximity of the "exhibition non-home match" to Perth's home city.

An ARTTSL record was set in the bottom-of-the-table clash between Melbourne and Illawarra in the border city of Albury-Wodonga. After Melbourne held an early lead, Illawarra played with desperation hoping to stay off the bottom of the table, pushing the match to 10-10. The sides then traded points to stretch the match to 17-17, with Melbourne finally prevailing 19-17 in an exhausting ARTTSL record total number of points played in a match (36). The result lifts Premiers Melbourne off the bottom of the table and leaves Illawarra there instead, however only on for and against. Illawarra's number one supporter Wendell Sailor told reporters he was not concerned as were only two points behind the team in 5th place. "It's early days yet mate, The Dell is all good with it and they boys will get it together", Sailor said.

The match in Beijing, China was unfortunately a disappointment in front of a modest crowd, with the match initially neck and neck at 5-5 before Canberra raced away with six straight points to win 11-5.

At Port Macquarie on the NSW north coast, Sydney raced away to a 7-2 lead, only for the Sunshine Coast to bring the match back to 8-8. The final point to draw level was astounding in that Sydney caught a ball that had hit the table by reflex, having misjudged that it would be going out. The match then went to extra time with Sunshine Coast barely prevailing 13-11.

Finally in Jakarta, Indonesia, Newcastle secured their return to two points clear at the top of the table, with a gutsy win over Singapore. The match was intense and high-speed, the mood being set by a huge smash in a early point by Singapore. Singapore led 6-2, only for Newcastle to win six points in a row to make the score 8-6. From there they held that gap to win the match 11-9.

ROUND 6 RESULTS:
Perth 11 d North New Zealand 6 (in Mandura, WA)
Melbourne 19 d Illawarra 17 (in Albury-Wodonga, NSW/Vic)
South New Zealand 11 d Gold Coast-Tweed 8 (in Suva, Fiji)
Canberra 11 d Brisbane 5 (in Beijing, China)
Sunshine Coast 13 d Sydney 11 (in Port Macquarie, NSW)
Newcastle 11 d Singapore 9 (in Jakarta, Indonesia)

ROUND 7 DRAW:
Singapore v Melbourne (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Auckland)
Illawarra v Canberra (in Wollongong)
South New Zealand v Sydney (in Queenstown)
Newcastle v Brisbane (in Newcastle)
Perth v Sunshine Coast (in Perth)

Round 5 - Gold Coast-Tweed pass Newcastle on Top, Melbourne Lose Again!

Gold-Coast Tweed have knocked Newcastle off the top rung of the ladder, equal on 8 points but surpassing them on for and against.

Home side Newcastle narrowly defeated Sunshine Coast 11-9 in a close match that saw a great deal of interesting and fancy serves and alot of balls ricocheting off the net. Meanwhile Gold Coast-Tweed thrashed Singapore on the Gold Coast 11-4 in a lop-sided match, enough to eclipse Newcastle's for and against balance. Newcastle and Gold Coast-Tweed are the only sides on eight points.

Meanwhile Premiers Melbourne have gone down a fourth time in a row and now languish at the bottom of the ladder as the only team with only one win. Their home match against North New Zealand was close and fast-paced and ended up 12-10 in favour of the Big Pippie-inspired north Kiwi's.

In other matches, Perth defeated Brisbane in Brisbase 11-7 after racing to an early 7-3 lead. Home side Canberra overcame a sloppy South New Zealand performace 11-6 after leading 8-2 early on. Finally Sydney recorded its second straight win, thrashing a lackluster Illawarra 11-3. The result leaves Illawarra second-last on the table based on for and against, but on points they are equal with sixth-placed Sydney, with six sides equal on four points.

Round 6 will be the ARTTSL exhibition round with matches to be played in six overseas or Australian regional locations: Mandura (WA), Albury-Wodonga (NSW/Vic), Beijing (China), Suva (Fiji), Jakarta (Indonesia) and Port Macquarie (NSW).

ROUND 5 RESULTS:
Perth 11 d Brisbane 7 (at Brisbane)
Newcastle 12 d Sunshine Coast 10 (at Maroochydore)
North New Zealand 12 d Melbourne 10 (at Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Singapore 4 (at Gold Coast)
Canberra 11 d South New Zealand 6 (at Canberra)
Sydney 11 d Illawarra 3 (at Sydney)

ROUND 6 DRAW (exhibition round)
North New Zealand v Perth (at Mandurah, Western Australia)
Melbourne v Illawarra (at Albury-Wodonga, NSW/Victoria)
Gold Coast-Tweed v South New Zealand (at Suva, Fiji)
Canberra v Brisbane (Beijing, China)
Sydney v Sunshine Coast (at Port Macquarie, NSW)
Singapore v Newcastle (Jakarta, Indonesia)

Leaked Document Touts Radical Breakaway League Rule-Changes

An alleged leaked document has surfaced from an undisclosed source outlining a list of rule changes a break-away league involving current Second-Division clubs would implement to try to create a more attractive Rebound Table Tennis game.

The document does not have any header, logo or other contextual or identifying marks, just the list of rules.

All Second-Division clubs have denied any knowledge of the document and any involvement with any groups, committees or otherwise in considering the establishment of a break-away league.

Radical rule changes detailed in the document include:

- Extending the current distance between the net and back-board from 15cm to 30cm.

- If in travelling the ball strikes or bounces off any other object, such as a wall, shelf, roof or workbench, and otherwise strikes the backboard then the table, then it will be deemed a legal shot.

- Awarding two points for a clean winner (ie: when the opponent does not make any bat contact with the ball before it strikes the floor or the table a second time).

- Allow teams one "Power Play" per match in which for three consecutive points any points they score are doubled.

- To compensate for the shortening of the game some above rules may lead to, extend the matches to first to 13, must win by 2, with teams serving three serves consecutively instead of five.

- Allow players unlimited freedom to establish corporate deals with private organisations without any need for approval.

- Remove the salary cap of $4 million.

- Introduce an average table tennis player at each match, to be known as "The Roy", to be randomly assigned to one of the teams to spice up the game.

Asked for his thoughts, ARTTSL director Bernard Elksteine simply said "It's just a piece of paper, but it's interesting such a thing should surface at this time. Certainly someone has put a lot of thought into it. But I feel we've got the right mix of rules to encourage exciting play in ARTTSL and I think a lot of what's listed is, well, they're fairy floss rules. I mean, what next, put a rubber duck on the table?! It's all just plain silly. I'm confident all our teams will stick with us"

Rumours have abounded for some time that Second-Division clubs would consider a break-away league as they wait in the wings for First Division to play their 2011 championship, an arrangement that has been widely criticised. There are also rumours some current First-Division sides could consider defecting if the alternative was more enticing.

Round 4 - Premiers Melbourne Hit Rock Bottom

2009 ARTTSL Premiers Melbourne have hit rock-bottom after round 4, losing their third straight match and finding themselves on the bottom of the ladder.

The away match against Sydney started off very close, but Melbourne collapsed and went down 11-5. By contrast, the match was Sydney's first win for the season after three straight losses in rounds 1 to 3.

Previously undefeated Newcastle went down 11-9 to South New Zealand in Christchurch, however they still retain the first position on the ladder on for and against, joined by Gold Coast-Tweed and South New Zealand on 6 points.

In other matches, Brisbane held out visitors North New Zealand after leading 8-0 only to face a resurgence, eventually winning 11-7. Perth travelled to Wollongong where they lost their second straight extra-time match, this time to Illawarra 13-11. Gold Coast-Tweed defeated visitors Canberra 11-8.

Finally in the first televised ARTTSL match, Singapore took on Sushine Coast in Maroochydore in a see-sawing match that saw Singapore race to an early 6-0 lead, before Sunshine Coast raced back to a 7-6 lead, the match then running neck and neck to extra time, with Singapore finally squeezing out a 13-11 win.

Watch the match here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASD_9qESuVk

ROUND 4 RESULTS:
Brisbane 11 d North New Zealand 7 (at Brisbane)
South New Zealand 11 d Newcastle 9 (at Christchurch)
Illawarra 13 d Perth 11 (at Wollongong)
Sydney 11 d Melbourne 5 (at Sydney)
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Canberra 8 (at Canberra)
Singapore 13 d Sunshine Coast 11 (at Maroochydore)

ROUND 5 DRAW:
Brisbane v Perth (in Brisbane)
Sunshine Coast v Newcastle (in Sunshine Coast)
Melbourne v North New Zealand (in Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed v Singapore (in Gold Coast)
Canberra v South New Zealand (in Canberra)
Sydney v Illawarra (in Sydney)

Rebound Table Tennis Live!

Watch Sunshine Coast take on Singapore @ Maroochydore (ARTTSL Round 4)...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ASD_9qESuVk

.

Round 3 - Premiers Melbourne Lose Again, Newcastle Clear On Top

Newcastle have stormed two points clear at the top of the ARTTSL First Division ladder after only three rounds, with a dominant 11-4 home win over Illawarra. Illawarra were loose and lazy and put up little resistance against the Pre-Season Trophy winners.

Newcastle now lead the table on six points, clear of five teams equal second on four points.

Premiers Melbourne lost their second straight match, going down to in-form Canberra 11-8 at home after a neck-and-neck encounter.

Singapore secured their first win of the season, downing Brisbane, who continue to disappoint despite their potential, 11-6 in front of a huge Singapore crowd.

North New Zealand played their first home match in Wellington under the rotating home match agreement between Auckland and Wellington, and didn't disappoint, downing top-of-table Sunshine Coast 11-7. The match was close until some skilled shots from North New Zealand appeared to leave Sunshine Coast rattled and off their game.

Arguably the match of the round was Perth's second home match at their new table, where they led South New Zealand 8-2 and later 10-7, only to lose in extra time 14-12. Perth's young players caused more controversy when they dacked (ie: pulled pants down) South New Zealand's mascot the Big Peter Jackson (recently revealed to be the real Peter Jackson) to cheers from the crowd. An internal investigation into this behaviour is underway.

Asked for his take on the situation, Jackson simply replied, "Well, that's table tennis. We got the win, I'm happy".

Finally, Gold Coast-Tweed played their first home match in Tweed Heads and beat Sydney 11-8 after Sydney played well early, only to crack later in the game. It was Sydney's 3rd straight loss and leaves them languishing by themselves at the bottom of the table.

ROUND 3 RESULTS:
Singapore 11 d Brisbane 6 (at Singapore)
North New Zealand 11 d Sunshine Coast 7 (at Wellington)
Newcastle 11 d Illawarra 4 (at Newcastle)
South New Zealand 14 d Perth 12 (at Perth)
Canberra 11 d Melbourne 8 (at Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Sydney 8 (at Tweed Heads)

ROUND 4 DRAW:
Brisbane v North New Zealand (in Brisbane)
South New Zealand v Newcastle (in Christchurch)
Illawarra v Perth (in Wollongong)
Sydney v Melbourne (in Sydney)
Canberra v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Canberra)
Sunshine Coast v Singapore (in Sunshine Coast)

South NZ Upset Premiers, Newcastle & Sunshine Coast On Top

South New Zealand have pulled off the upset of the season so far, beating premiers Melbourne 11-9 in the final match of ARTTSL First Division Round 2.

With the Big Peter Jackson revving up the crowd, South New Zealand pulled out a narrow lead early, but Melbourne clawed back. Two pivotal points towards the end made the game memorable and gave South New Zealand their edge: The first case was where a point was replayed as the referees and touch judges all admitted they did not see whether a Melbourne shot hit the table before or after crossing the net. A video replay clearly showed the ball fell short. The situation raises again the question of whether ARTTSL should consider implementing a video referee, however Director Bernard Elksteine has been firmly against such a proposal.

The second memorable point was where Melbourne captain Camrahn Smythe allowed a South New Zealand serve that clipped the net through, having forgotten the let rul was aboloshed as at the end of Round 1.

In other matches, Gold Coast-Tweed thrashed Illawarra 11-2, Sunshine Coast racked up their second win 13-11 over Canberra, Brisbane narrowly pushed out Sydney 12-10 (leaving Sydney at the bottom of the table), Singapore join Sydney on zero points after going down to Perth on Perth's long-awaited new home table, while Newcastle join Sunshine Coast on four points at the top of the table after beating North New Zealand 11-5 in Auckland.

ROUND 2 RESULTS:
Gold Coast-Tweed 11 d Illawarra 2 (at Gold Coast)
Sunshine Coast 13 d Canberra 11 (at Sunshine Coast)
Brisbane 12 d Sydney 10 (at Sydney)
Perth 11 d Singapore 9 (at Perth)
Newcastle 11 d North New Zealand 5 (at Auckland)
South New Zealand 11 d Melbourne 9 (at Christchurch)

ROUND 3 DRAW:
Singapore v Brisbane (at Singapore)
North New Zealand v Sunshine Coast (at Wellington)
Newcastle v Illawarra (at Newcastle)
Perth v South New Zealand (at Perth)
Melbourne v Canberra (at Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed v Sydney (at Tweed Heads)

Identity Revealed. The Big Peter Jackson Is... Peter Jackson!

South New Zealand fans were shocked yesterday to learn the true identity of their beloved mascot, the Big Peter Jackson.

South New Zealand management released a statement on its website revealing "The Big Peter Jackson is none other than himself, (Lord of the Rings and King Kong Director) Peter Jackson".

This was followed by a video address by Jackson in which he told fans, "I decided it was time to show my hand. That's not a guy in a suit dressed as me, it's actually me... What can I say, I love Rebound Table Tennis and I want to be part of the action, and I'm not nearly as good with a paddle bat as I am with a camera, so this is the best way to get right in among things. Also I like getting down to the South Island (Jackson lives in Wellington) and this is a great excuse to do so. I also enjoyed last week, despite the result, I've never been to the 'Gong. It was great to see Wayne and the Dell at the game too".

Jackson also quipped that the Lord of the Rings trilogy would have been ready one year earlier, had it not been for his table tennis table in the garage of his home-come-production facility, at which he and the LoTR crew spent a great deal of time "procrastinating".

No reason for the timing was given, but with South New Zealand to play their first home match of 2010 in Christchurch next week, it's highly likely this revelation will boost attendances.

Jackson did joke however that the reason he decided to reveal it was really him was because "I was sick of kids pulling my beard, thinking it was fake. Kids: It's real, and it hurts. I'm not bloody Santa Claus, alright?".

Round 1: Newcastle Strike Back, Premiers Melbourne Scrape Home

Newcastle have struck back in what is emerging as an arch rivalry with Perth, defeating the Pre-Season Trophy Final winners 11-6 in a highly charged match in Newcastle.

Newcastle cruised to an early lead of 4-0, with Perth showing some hope of catching them as their young players rallied, but the match slipped away in the dying points.

In other matches, 2009 Premiers Melbourne scraped home in a see-sawing home match against Gold Coast-Tweed.

Canberra dealt out a surprise thrashing to an out-of-form Sydney 11-2 in the National Capital.

North New Zealand were lucky to find their way to Singapore amid the air traffic chaos caused by the Icelandic Volcano, but landed with an hour to spare and, rallied by their mascot the Big Pippie, jumped from 5-all to 9-5, and ran out comfortable winners 11-7.

In somewhat of a local darby, the Sunshine Coast gave last year's runners-up Brisbane a disappointing start, beating them 11-8 in Brisbane.

Finally South New Zealand had no issues with flights to Wollongong (via Sydney) but they and their mascot, the Big Peter Jackson, came home empty-handed, losing a close and high-speed, hard-hitting match 11-9 to Illawarra.

ROUND 1 RESULTS:
Melbourne 11 d Gold Coast-Tweed 9 (at Melbourne)
Canberra 11 d Sydney 2 (at Canberra)
North New Zealand 11 d Singapore 7 (at Singapore)
Sunshine Coast 11 d Brisbane 8 (at Brisbane)
Newcastle 11 d Perth 6 (at Newcastle)
Illawarra 11 d South New Zealand 9 (at Wollongong)


ROUND 2 DRAW:
Gold Coast-Tweed v Illawarra (in Gold Coast)
Sunshine Coast v Canberra (in Sunshine Coast)
Sydney v Brisbane (in Sydney)
Perth v Singapore (in Perth)
North New Zealand v Newcastle (in Auckland)
South New Zealand v Melbourne (in Christchurch)

2010 ARTTSL First Division Draw Announced

ARTTSL Director Bernard Elksteine has announced the 2010 ARTTSL First Division Draw.

The season will run for eleven rounds, with each side playing five home and five away matches. Round 6 has been deemed an "Exhibition Round", with matches to be played in regional areas across Australia and New Zealand, and possibly in other countries.

The top six finishers will enter the 6-way finals series similar to that used in the 1997 Australian Super League series.

When asked, Mr Elksteine said it was just coincidence that Newcastle and Perth were scheduled to play each other in round 1, a replay of the Pre-Season trophy final, however to be played at Newcastle instead of Perth.

"The draw was finalised a week before the match was decided", Mr Elksteine assured the media scrum at the press conference. "But needless to has it will be a highly charged match and the Newcastle players and fans will be eager for revenge".


Australasian Rebound Table Tennis Super League (ARTTSL) First Division Draw, 2010

Round 1
Melbourne v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Melbourne)
Canberra v Sydney (in Canberra)
Singapore v North New Zealand (in Singapore)
Brisbane v Sunshine Coast (in Brisbane)
Newcastle v Perth (in Newcastle)
Illawarra v South New Zealand (in Wollongong)

Round 2
Gold Coast-Tweed v Illawarra (in Gold Coast)
Sunshine Coast v Canberra (in Sunshine Coast)
Sydney v Brisbane (in Sydney)
Perth v Singapore (in Perth)
North New Zealand v Newcastle (in Auckland)
South New Zealand v Melbourne (in Christchurch)

Round 3
Singapore v Brisbane (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v Sunshine Coast (in Wellington)
Newcastle v Illawarra (in Newcastle)
Perth v South New Zealand (in Perth)
Melbourne v Canberra (in Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed v Sydney (in Tweed Heads)

Round 4
Brisbane v North New Zealand (in Brisbane)
South New Zealand v Newcastle (in Christchurch)
Illawarra v Perth (in Wollongong)
Sydney v Melbourne (in Sydney)
Canberra v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Canberra)
Sunshine Coast v Singapore (in Sunshine Coast)

Round 5
Brisbane v Perth (in Brisbane)
Sunshine Coast v Newcastle (in Sunshine Coast)
Melbourne v North New Zealand (in Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed v Singapore (in Gold Coast)
Canberra v South New Zealand (in Canberra)
Sydney v Illawarra (in Sydney)

Round 6 (Exhibition Round)
North New Zealand v Perth (location TBA)
Melbourne v Illawarra (location TBA)
Gold Coast-Tweed v South New Zealand (location TBA)
Canberra v Brisbane (location TBA)
Sydney v Sunshine Coast (location TBA)
Singapore v Newcastle (location TBA)

Round 7
Singapore v Melbourne (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Auckland)
Illawarra v Canberra (in Wollongong)
South New Zealand v Sydney (in Queenstown)
Newcastle v Brisbane (in Newcastle)
Perth v Sunshine Coast (in Perth)

Round 8
Gold Coast-Tweed v Sunshine Coast (in Tweed Heads)
Canberra v Newcastle (in Canberra)
Sydney v Perth (in Sydney)
Singapore v Illawarra (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v South New Zealand (in Wellington)
Melbourne v Brisbane (in Melbourne)

Round 9
Perth v Canberra (in Perth)
Newcastle v Sydney (in Newcastle)
South New Zealand v Singapore (in Christchurch)
Illawarra v North New Zealand (in Wollongong)
Sunshine Coast v Melbourne (in Sunshine Coast)
Brisbane v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Brisbane)

Round 10
Sydney v Singapore (in Sydney)
Brisbane v South New Zealand (in Brisbane)
Sunshine Coast v Illawarra (in Sunshine Coast)
Melbourne v Perth (in Melbourne)
Gold Coast-Tweed v Newcastle (in Gold Coast)
Canberra v North New Zealand (in Canberra)

Round 11
Illawarra v Brisbane (in Wollongong)
South New Zealand v Sunshine Coast (in Christchurch)
Newcastle v Melbourne (in Newcastle)
Perth v Gold Coast-Tweed (in Perth)
Singapore v Canberra (in Singapore)
North New Zealand v Sydney (in Auckland)

Preliminary Finals
3rd v 6th [Game P1]
4th v 5th [Game P2]

Quarter Finals
1st v 2nd [Game Q1]
Winner P1 v Winnner P2 [Game Q2]

Semi Final
Loser Q1 v Winner Q2 [Game S1]

Grand Final
Winner Q1 v Winner S1

Perth Clinch Pre-Season Trophy

An injury and suspension-ridden Perth side have swept aside a week of controversy, defeating Newcastle 12-10 in the Pre-Season Trophy Final.

The match was neck and neck all the way to 10-all, when Perth fans couldn't believer their eyes as the dream of the Semi-Final victory over premiers Melbourne repeated itself as Newcastle hit the net twice, handing Perth the 12-10 victory.

The morning before the match started badly, with several players suspended, as well as captain Jimmy Twix, over the scandal that ensued in Melbourne after Perth's semi-final victory.

The captaincy was ironically handed to rookie Ian McGovern, who had been the intended butt of the prank gone wrong.

McGovern accepted the Pre-Season Trophy on behalf of the team in a subdued ceremony afterwards.

Eyes now turn to the regular First Division ARTTSL season which is about to commence, with the final draw to be announced any time soon.

Gus Gold's Pre-Season Analysis

Heading into its second regular season, ARTTSL faces a number of major issues, the two most prominent of which are, although at first not clearly, related.

They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. It also wasn’t built in two years. ARTTSL is never going to reach the scale of Rome, but it’s certainly set an ambitious growth agenda within its first two seasons, one that would make Caesar green with envy.

Let’s consider how this all happened: Launching its first season with a modest eight First Division licenses, the last of which were fought over pre-season by several marginal clubs, ARTTSL surprised everyone by announcing just one month later the establishment of a Second-Division Challenger League with another eight licenses, with the opportunity for the top six to progress to First Division in 2010 at the expense of the two most lowly-ranked First Division sides, expanding the total number of First Division licenses to twelve. Then, at the end of the season, they announced a further four Second Division licenses, to facilitate expansions in Australia’s three largest cities, forced the merger of Wellington and Auckland to allow the entry of Singapore, and talked it all up as they bravest agenda in sport in the Southern Hemisphere. Certainly the biggest agenda. Brave is an interpretation. Foolish remains to be seen.

Did you find that previous paragraph unnecessarily complicated and convoluted? If so, sorry, but that’s about the best way to represent the development of ARTTSL to date: unnecessarily complicated and convoluted. There’s no systematic and clear way to describe it as there is no systematic or clear approach in the management of the fast-expanding multi-national league.

Now anyone who follows my oft-maligned commentary would know I’ve been a strong advocate for a cross-continental Rebound Table Tennis League for some time, with the inclusion of a limited number of international teams in nearby countries such as New Zealand or Indonesia. On paper, this is what has been achieved. In reality it’s anything but, because such a thing needs to be built gradually, possibly over a period of five to ten years, or more. Not two. This has led to a range of issues, from logistics (coordinating multiple fly-away matches is expensive and complicated, and not easily honed in the short-term), to club issues due to the number of new clubs in large but relatively remote areas relative to the rebound table tennis heartlands on the eastern seaboard of Australia and in New Zealand.

Furthermore, not content with targeting nearby northern neighbours such as Indonesia, a strong rebound table tennis-playing nation, they targeted Singapore, a major centre with many flights, but it’s seven thousand kilometres away, a long flight, and hardly part of the Australasian region. With such long travel and the tricky logistics this brings about, I fear Singapore will become the Canberra Raiders of ARTTSL – strong at home, a push-over away. A 50% win ratio allows for reasonable seasons but you’re very unlikely to win a Premiership. So how excited will Singaporeans get over their new local side is not a great bet for mine.

The prime example of remote club establishment difficulties is Perth. Rebound table tennis is still in its relative infancy in the western capital, and the club is hardly flush with funds, and are still struggling to finish an up-to-ARTTSL-standard home table. Hence the new Perth club have bought mostly cheap, young players from across Australia, many from country and regional areas. With few senior players, or ex-players tied to the club, to guide the young players in the big city environment, there is what Perth Director Samuel Thompson recently described as a leadership vacuum. This has led to a number of scandals, including the most recent involving players acting up in Melbourne after their surprise Pre-Season Trophy Semi-Final victory.

Of course Perth are not the only club to have discipline issues, and ironically to some degree their problems have been magnified by their exposure due to their success, having finished second on the ladder in the 2009 regular season (only to crash out of the finals in two games and finish fourth). If Perth can win the upcoming Pre-Season Trophy Final against Newcastle it will hopefully turn some of the negativity around and allow the club to capitalise on a positive outcome.

Another clear down-side of the fast expansion is the potential for dissatisfaction among Second-Division clubs, with everything from the structure of the Pre-Season Trophy draw to the price of eggs in China able to antagonise them. I’m not saying I agree with all of their concerns, or even many of them, but this is where the two-tier competition is somewhat of a poor compromise, because it runs the risk of disillusioning Second Division sides and potentially driving them to form a competing break-away rebel league, and such whispers have reportedly already started. If ARTTSL are so sure they want their twenty-team competition, which effectively saturates every major population centre on Australia and New Zealand, they may be better off accepting all sides as First Division, and this could be achieved with a parallel two-conference system similar to that of the American NFL’s NFC and AFC. However this still leaves the problem of trying to keep twenty sides afloat.

My own sense is that the Australasian region can support at most sixteen teams, with twelve or fourteen possibly being an optimal number for long-term sustainability. Time will tell if the nature of the free market can prevail over the enforced expansion and the competition retracts by natural attrition with teams collapsing and closing or merging. This of course has its down-sides in failed investment and dissatisfied shareholders.

On the plus side, the Pre-Season Trophy has shown the 2010 rule changes will provide more exciting rebound table tennis. Most of all, the new ten centimetre gap between the net and the backboard has opened up the play, reducing the value of close, careful play and over-backspinning of the ball. It has allowed the big topspin hitters normally more comfortable in regular table tennis to come to the fore. Some have been critical of this, saying it makes it less a game of skill and more one of power. I disagree. I think it allows for both styles of play as there are still plenty of points that end up tight and close to the net. It’s allowed for more variety in the game which can only be a good thing.

Sorry however to finish on a sour note but it would be remiss not to mention the poor standard of refereeing overall in the Pre-Season Trophy. There have been so many errors it’s hard to know where to start, so I’ll just mention the one that gets the furthest up my goose. The interpretation of the double-touch rule has been misread again and again and again. To me it’s clear: If a player is making a continuous movement without a change in momentum of the bat, then double-contact is to be considered a single shot and not penalised. How hard can it be? But no, the refs just wanna jump on it and give the point to the opposition. No no no no no. I hope they can improve in this area as the regular season gets underway.

So now we come to the final of the Pre-Season Trophy. I must admit I’d prefer to see Newcastle win as they’re the most professional of the new clubs and they haven’t had the scandals of Perth. That said I think Perth rightly hold the favourites tag and a win would be popular with many. If they can pull it off I won’t begrudge them their success, but would hope they would use the success as a spring-board to foster a new sense of focus in the club, clean up their discipline issues and stop bringing the game into disrepute.

Finally, I’ve been asked again and again and again who I think will be ARTTSL Premiers for 2010. Have you noticed how everyone wants to say who they think will win but backs it up with if and buts? Well, here’s a no-frills prediction you can hold me to:

Newcastle.

Scandal Taints Perth's Surprise Victory

Perth's sensational upset victory over Melbourne in last night's Semi-Final clash has been tainted after a drunken prank gone wrong.

Out celebrating in down-town Melbourne, an unnamed group of Perth players decided to order a male stripper to attend the home of injured Perth rookie Ian McGovern, where they expected him to be home recouperating.

The prank went horribly wrong as it turned out McGovern was watching the match on TV at the home of a friend, and the door was answered by McGovern's mother Janelle, who was minding his pet cat Garbage Guts.

Mrs McGovern spoke briefly to ACB News, quoted as saying "It was horrible. He was dressed as a nurse and came out with some poem along the lines of being 'the nurse who likes to...', well I don't know what because I slammed the door".

ARTTSL management this morning established a committee to investigate the allegatons. Meanwhile all Perth players have been ordered to return home immediately to assist with the investigation.

In a short statement, ARTTSL Director Bernard Elksteine stated there were a range of possible sanctions ranging from a warning or a fine to exclusion from the Pre-Season Trophy final at the worst, but he said the latter was an extreme and highly unlikely.

"We've been trying to stamp this sort of behaviour out. I'm sick of it. On behalf of the whole of ARTTSL I sincerely apologise to Ian McGovern, his mother Janelle and his cat, who also witnessed the incident", Elksteine said.

This is the latest in a number of scanals at the Perth club, with the issue being widely blamed on the club's difficulty retaining senior players, leading to a "leadership vacuum" as Perth President Samual Thompson described it a few weeks agon.

Thompson has not been available for comment on the latest matter as yet. It is expected that the build-up to the Pre-Season Trophy final in the western capital will be somewhat more subdued than was anticipated, including possible cancellation of the pre-game street parade.

The enquiry continues.

Perth upset Premiers, Book Home Final With Newcastle

Perth have secured the home Final in the ARTTSL Pre-Season Trophy after defeating reigning 2009 premiers Melbourne in the first Semi Final.

After slipping to an early 4-0 deficit, Perth clawed back with a mix of great shots and some lucky glances off the net to square the match at 5-5.

From there is was neck and neck as the match reached 9-9, after which Melbourne appeared to panic, losing the last two points with loose shots into the net. Perth won 11-9.

In the second Semi-Final home side Newcastle secured their birth in the final, edging out Sunshine Close in an extra-time enounter, 12-10.

Perth will be vying for their first title, while Newcastle will be looking to add a second piece of silverware to their trophy cabinet, having won the Second-Division Challenger League in 2009.

Newcastle are widely tipped as a stong contender for this year's First Division ARTTSL Premiership.

Meanwhile many still believe Perth are punch above their weight due to their ongoing issues with player retention in the western capital and ongoing hold-ups to their new home table, which Perth management have confirmed will not be ready for the Pre-Season Trophy Final, the match to be played on their secondary table in Fremantle.

Newcastle go into the match as favourites but after defeating the reigning Premiers, Perth have proven they're capable of anything.

SEMI FINAL RESULTS:
S1: Perth 11 d Melbourne 9 (at Melbourne)
S2: Newcastle 12 v Sunshine Coast 10 (at Newcastle)

FINAL:
F1: Perth v Newcastle (at Perth)