Saturday, April 17, 2010

Scandal Taints Perth's Surprise Victory

Perth's sensational upset victory over Melbourne in last night's Semi-Final clash has been tainted after a drunken prank gone wrong.

Out celebrating in down-town Melbourne, an unnamed group of Perth players decided to order a male stripper to attend the home of injured Perth rookie Ian McGovern, where they expected him to be home recouperating.

The prank went horribly wrong as it turned out McGovern was watching the match on TV at the home of a friend, and the door was answered by McGovern's mother Janelle, who was minding his pet cat Garbage Guts.

Mrs McGovern spoke briefly to ACB News, quoted as saying "It was horrible. He was dressed as a nurse and came out with some poem along the lines of being 'the nurse who likes to...', well I don't know what because I slammed the door".

ARTTSL management this morning established a committee to investigate the allegatons. Meanwhile all Perth players have been ordered to return home immediately to assist with the investigation.

In a short statement, ARTTSL Director Bernard Elksteine stated there were a range of possible sanctions ranging from a warning or a fine to exclusion from the Pre-Season Trophy final at the worst, but he said the latter was an extreme and highly unlikely.

"We've been trying to stamp this sort of behaviour out. I'm sick of it. On behalf of the whole of ARTTSL I sincerely apologise to Ian McGovern, his mother Janelle and his cat, who also witnessed the incident", Elksteine said.

This is the latest in a number of scanals at the Perth club, with the issue being widely blamed on the club's difficulty retaining senior players, leading to a "leadership vacuum" as Perth President Samual Thompson described it a few weeks agon.

Thompson has not been available for comment on the latest matter as yet. It is expected that the build-up to the Pre-Season Trophy final in the western capital will be somewhat more subdued than was anticipated, including possible cancellation of the pre-game street parade.

The enquiry continues.

2 comments:

Samuel Thompson said...

I do not wish to make any statement at this early stage except to confirm that the street parade will not go ahead out of respect to Ian McGovern's mother and cat. We apologise to all our fans for this latest misjudgement on the part of a minority of our younger players.

Samuel Thompson
Dirctor, Perth RTTC

Morris Shniy-Brass (Mrs) said...

I'm glad Ian is keeping himself busy. I worry about him every so often. I normally assume that everyone I lose touch with is dead. What with road toll and all......