Henry Bird Interviews Illawarra Coach Aaron Merriman

Respected Rebound Table Tennis columnist Henry Bird sat down with Illawarra coach Aaron Merriman to talk about his side’s amazing start to the season, recent scandals that have rocked the sport, and crooner Tony Bennett! Here’s what he had to say…

Henry Bird: Aaron. What a turn-around. From wooden spooners in 2010, to undefeated table leaders after 9 round in 2011. What’s the secret?

Aaron Merriman: The secret? OK there are a few, I might get to some, but most of all we’ve just been playing great Rebound Table Tennis. Really focussing on the basics you know, keeping the ball in play and not getting too fancy except at the right time. Last year we were often guilty of being fairly erratic and trying to win each point too quickly. Young Jammie Maybin was a great off-season signing, he comes off the bench and adds the spark we needed at the right time.

HB: And the secret?

AM: OK, maybe there aren’t many. (pause) Alright there’s one I’ll tell you. Remember the reports the Goulburn HyperBall side were practicing with rolled up tin-foil because they couldn’t afford table tennis balls? Well, we heard about that and we had an idea: What if we try it, just for fun. And we found when the players practiced that way for a few days, then switched back to regular table tennis balls, the re-simplification meant their game just lifted.

HB: Any insights on how that worked?

AM: Well I think the re-simplification as I said, and I suppose it’s like the young Bradman practicing with a cricket stump and a golf ball against a water tank, you force your eye to become more attuned. I’m really happy with it, it’s a bit of an innovation which contributes to the sport overall, we’ll share that technique more at the end of the season maybe… may if we win the Premiership. Maybe.

HB: You were facing relegation to Second Division at the end of last season. All the Second-Division sides defected to HyperBall. Were you ever tempted to join them?

AM: Well personally no, I never consciously thought to be tempted, but we were tempted as you might say by external forces. We had visits from nameless HyperBall reps, not only at the club they came to my house, and a few of the players’ houses. It was pretty bizarre. They tried on the honey and the vinegar. First they’d make an offer to sign you personally, then when that didn’t work they’d offer to pay you under the table to lobby the club to defect, then when you still refused they’d start suggesting if we didn’t defect they’d make us all redundant by setting up a rival side in the Illawarra region. At one point they said they’d look at acquiring the West Wollongong Rebound Table Tennis club and building it into a viable side.

HB: You’re joking? They thought West Wollongong could field a viable professional side? It’s just a local amateur dojo with about 20 players.

AM: They were crazy times. I think they were desperate. And in the end our solidarity with ARTTSL was vindicated because we weren’t left high and dry with no funding for several months like the clubs that initially defected. To be honest I think they were bloody lucky Wilky (ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy) accepted them back and didn’t just scrap them, well except Tweed Heads, who were the worst of them after the split with the Gold Coast, seriously they had it coming. It’s ironic we played with tin foil anyway but that was our choice, our finances were just fine the whole way through. I think by rejecting the distraction we were able to get on with developing our team in the off-season and now here we are top of the table after nine weeks. It’s a nice feeling. We played it with a straight bat so we can hold our heads up. Also I suppose it’s worth adding that we knew if we stayed true ARTTSL would probably spare us the relegation to Second Division, which turned out to be somewhat true as they abolished the whole concept.

HB: What do you make of the Featherlite-Blowingpam scandal?

AM: I think it’s all bullshit. (stops to sip his coffee, then waits patiently for the next question)

HB: No other comment?

AM: No. Well OK I just think that Angus is a little snot who needs to be sorted out, and his parents have a lot to answer for. It's your typical Baby Boomer/GenY disaster story. It’s dragging the whole sport down. Tasmania were like the other defectors, they’re lucky to still be here. They should be more appreciative of what they have and get their house in order. I heard that Angus passed out next to the spa the other day from intoxication, if someone associated with this club did that they'd be out the door. Those distractions mean you're less likely to win games, they're 16th on the table I think and even that's probably more than they deserve.

HB: Right. Well moving on. Um. What next?...

AM: You seem to have lost your place…

HB: Yeah sorry, um, oh… I understand the team’s had some inspirational words from (crooner) Tony Bennett. How did that come about?

AM: (laughs) It wasn't the plan. We were actually hoping to get (St George Illawarra coach) Wayne Bennett in to say a few words to the boys, but Margaret on the front desk doesn't know much about Rugby League...

HB: ... what, so she called Tony Bennett?!

AM: No, she actually called Tony Barber, but when he answered she said "Hi, is that Tony Bennett?" Well, it turns out Tony Barber has Tony Bennett's number on his mobile for just such occurrences - it happens a lot apparently - so he gave her Tony Bennett's direct number. Tony Bennett was confused but intrigued, he knows nothing about Rebound Table Tennis as a professional sport so thought he'd take the gig to find out more. Apparently he's a bit of a garage ponger himself. So we got the team in the boardroom and teed up a teleconference. Tony spoke to them about what it takes to be successful, how he overcame adversity, all the usual stuff. Then he did a rendition of our club song, "Who? Illawarra!" over the phone in his classic style. It was pretty bizarre and we had a bit of a chuckle afterwards. I think Margaret saw the funny side mostly. Actually I've heard Tony Barber took her to lunch as she's a big fan and was disappointed he wasn't coming to the club himself.

HB: Aaron Merriman, thanks for your time.

AM: No wuckers.

Jimmy Spring "Alive", Arrested in Melbourne

Police claim to have arrested Rebound Table Tennis legend Jimmy Spring at Melbourne International Airport, after landing on a flight from Morocco.

Seen as the Godfather of Rebound Table Tennis, and mentor to late Rebound Table Tennis supremo Bernard Elksteine, Spring was believed to have died in a road crash in 1999.

"Jimmy Spring" moments before his arrest in Melbourne

A Police spokesman told the media this morning the arrest was made after a number of coincidental tip-offs indicated that Spring was alive, and would attempt to enter the country on an early flight this morning. A suspect was first identified at the checkout gates, but was followed and only arrested after he arrived at a suburban house in Melbourne's east.

Several reporters had received the same tip-off and were able to photograph the alleged Spring just moments before his arrest. He was take to Melbourne Central Police Station for questioning and remanded in custody.

Born in 1937 in Denver, Colorado, Spring immigrated to Australia with his parents at age 6. He grew up in Maroochydore and became a top Table Tennis player, competing for Australia in the 1960 and 1964 Olympics. Retiring in 1966, he was the first to formalise Rebound Table Tennis as a competitive form of table tennis in the early 1970's, having previously only been seen as a means of practicing the game for regular, full-table play. Spring believed the Rebound form of the game offered the potential for faster and more exciting competition.

Spring expanded Rebound Table Tennis as an amateur sport across the country, opening a string of Rebound Table Tennis Dojo's, where he trained players and oversaw amateur competition. The sport, however, never reached professional status in Australia under Spring.

Spring came under pressure in the mid-90's as his dojo's were linked to organised crime and drug trafficking, and he was reportedly under constant investigation.

Jimmy Spring in 1975

A key turning point for the sport came in 1995 when Spring met a down-and-out Bernard Elksteine on the streets of Brisbane. He immediately saw Elksteine's leadership skills, business acumen and knowledge and skills for the game as a successful former player, and put Elksteine in charge of his Ipswich Dojo.

After the reported death of Spring in 1999, Elksteine inherited Spring's entire Rebound Table Tennis empire. Seeing the wider potential for Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian Region, Elksteine was able to use the funds generated from the Spring enterprise to expand his system nationally, and in so doing set up a junior player development program. He also cleaned up the sport's image, removing anyone who had apparent links to former allegations against Spring.

The program led to the game's popularity flourishing and establishment of large Dojos in many major centres across Austalia, New Zealand and later in Singapore in 2006. This led on the the establishment of the Australasian Rebound Table Tennis Super League in 2009.

The reported arrest adds fuel to speculation that Elksteine is also alive and well in Morocco, (having included several reported sightings) biding his time before re-claiming his place as Rebound Table Tennis Supremo in Australasia. It is now widely speculated that this has been part of a larger plan which commenced with Spring faking his death in 1999.

The mysterious, failed National HyperBall League initiative is still rumoured to have had links to Elksteine, and now possibly to Jimmy Spring as well, as the pair allegedly try to wrest back control of the sport "from the grave".

Police indicated today that they wished to speak to Spring about his disappearance and his possible former links to drugs and organised crime. No charges have been laid against the alleged Jimmy Spring at this stage. A medical assessment will be undertaken on the 73-year-old late this afternoon.

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One Big Load of HYPErbull?

Rebel League Management Vanishes Overnight

The Rebound Table Tennis War appears to have ended before it really began, with National HyperBall League (NHBL) management disappearing overnight from their Collins St, Melbourne headquarters.

No notice or warning was given to any of the teams who were scheduled to take part in the 2010 NHBL season, which had continued to be officially scheduled to take place "Later this year", however at this stage in the year this was raising some serious doubts as NHBL management continued to apparently stall, and occasionally sent out glib and sometimes confusing press releases.

A brief statement on the NHBL website (hyperball-league.blogspot.com) simply indicates "We regret to inform our fans that the 2010 HyperBall League Championship will not go ahead", and goes on to cite "several irresolvable logistical and hyperlotastical (sic) issues", but does not go into any further detail.

Teams left in the lurch include all ARTTSL Second-Division sides - North NSW (was Tweed Heads), Darwin, Tasmania, Greater Blacktown, North Queensland, North Melbourne, Ipswich, Adelaide, Geelong. These teams defected to NHBL in July on the promise of inclusion in a First-Division competition and a better share of takings. These promises now appear to have proven to be unsustainable. Their negotiations have failed.

Meanwhile it seems almost certain that the Goulburn club established by NHBL will fold, having never played a ball in any Rebound Table Tennis competition. The local Council have indicated they may consider suing NHBL management for costs they've put into the fledgeling team, which had been struggling due to no funding support from NHBL and had even been practicing with "rolled up pieces of tin foil" for balls. However so little is known of NHBL management it may be difficult even to track them down.

Fans of several defecting clubs are said to be keeping vigil outside the deserted NHBL office, with placards saying things like "WHAT A LOAD OF HYPErbull" and "GIVE ME MY TEAM BACK YOU BASTARDS!"

ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy, who has been apparently leaning towards a compromise, was uncharacteristically stony-faced when met by a media throng this morning outside his Gold Coast holiday home. He simply gave the traditional "V for Victory" sign, in an apparent reference to having won the Rebound Table Tennis War, which could presumably now go down in history as a "War of Nerves".

NHBL clubs now face an apparent certainty of not playing any competition in 2010, and uncertainty as to their futures in 2011. With the NHBL challenge off the table, Tuffy is nolonger in a position to need to negotiate. Any deal could presumably now only be based on goodwill, or the good of the game. However there are also questions of the sustainability of allowing clubs to return, which would lead to an ARTTSL roster of up to 20 teams. A recent independent study commissioned by ARTTSL indicated that 12 to 16 teams was the most economically viable target range for professional Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian region.

The situation is particularly nasty for the new North NSW club, the renamed Tweed Heads portion of the former Gold Coast-Tweed franchise, which split in July to join HyperBall. Gold Coast franchise management have not returned our calls or emails regarding whether they would consider a re-merger with the rebel Tweed Headians.

More as it comes to hand on this breaking story.

Mass Table Collapse in Delhi; Aussie Team Withdraws from Games

The Australian Rebound Table Tennis Squad have formally withdrawn from the Games after what is being described as a "mass, domino-style table collapse" in the new Rebound Table Tennis Stadium.

The team were near the end of their allotted one-hour session, in which teams were permitted to practice on the ten new competition-grade tables to become accustomed to them, when the collapse took place.

Perth player Ian McGovern, clearly still shaken from the incident, spoke to ARTTSL News outside the stadium shortly afterwards.

"It just came out of nowhere mate. One minute we were all practicing on different tables, next thing someone's maybe bumped a table up the end, maybe just nudged it you know nothing serious, nothing like what would happen in a big match, and down it goes. Ka-whump, and it hit the next one, and down it went too, then next thing, we're all like, shocked, looking at each other, then someone yelled 'RUN!', I can't remember who, but they were right 'cause next thing we're all literally running for our lives as the whole lot starts coming down, one after the other - whump whump whump, y'know. It sounded like a freight train. It's lucky noone was hurt. I mean I lost my best bat, the one I scored the winning point in the Pre-Season Trophy with actually, it got kind of pancaked in the table I was on as the backboard fell forward, but I'm more glad I got my hand out mate or I'd be suing the pants off 'em".

Asked if he was disappointed to be going home, a suddenly angry McGovern replied "Yeah. Yeah for sure. It's my first time representing the country. I was surprised to be picked in the first place and I was all revved up and ready to go. I'm gutted, truly. I guess I'll just have to wait for London 2012.... that's a long way off. Bloody hell, what a mess. I mean we knew they built them quick but you'd think they'd take precautions. What the hell did they use, toothpicks?!"

Given the seriousness of the collapse, it's likely the Australian withdrawal is just a formality as it seems unlikely authorities could arrange to re-build in time, and even if they did, it's unlikely anyone would trust that this wouldn't happen again. It appears Rebound Table Tennis will not be part of the 2010 Games.

The team is reportedly already en-route back to ARTTSL's Maroochydore headquarters, where they are expected to be briefed by officials before being released to return home.

The Australian team selection process was mired in controversy after ARTTSL went through with its threat to exclude players contracted to the rival National HyperBall League, shortly before the death of Bernard Elksteine.

3 Hyperball Clubs on Skid Row; Tuffy Extends "Olive Branch"

Rumours are swirling among the Rebound Table Tennis world that at least three HyperBall clubs are on the verge of filing for bankruptcy, being unable to meet their administrative payments.

Several unidentified sources indicate that the difficulties are due to the ongoing delay in the commencement of the 2010 National HyperBall League season, which is still slated to take place "some time later in 2010".

The only identified source is Goulburn Mayor Carol Jones, who, in a stunning statement outside the Big Merino yesterday, slammed HyperBall management for the ongoing delays.

"They rolled into town a few months ago promising big things. Naturally being a small and excitable city we were swept up in the hoo-hah and we put our money where their mouths were. But now it's been months, the honeymoon is over, and while they swan around in their head office down in Melbourne, we've got a small administrative office in Auburn Street going slowly broke as the funds run out. We don't even have enough money for new balls, our players are practicing with rolled up pieces of tin foil for heaven's sake. We'll have to start laying off staff soon. It's not good enough. We need games, we need gate takings. We need action. Nobody is moving forward on this issue".

Meanwhile new ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy has moved quickly, releasing a statement aimed at both HyperBall Management and their clubs, indicating that ARTTSL is willing to let by-gones be by-gones and negotiate a return to the fold for rebel clubs, or even a complete re-unification of the game, albeit under ARTTSL's own terms. This rhetoric is very different to that of late former President Bernard Elksteine, who declared that defecting clubs would not be allowed back to ARTTSL under any circumstances, and later died.

HyperBall management have released a short statement denying that any clubs were in trouble, and reiterating that their 2010 season will take place "some time later in 2010". Well, it's September, and we wait.

We wait....

Bernard Elksteine Found Dead in Maroochydore Home

ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine has been found dead in his Maroochydore home.

Early reports indicate that Elksteine's wife, Patricia, found the 45-year-old Rebound Table Tennis supremo slumped over his desk in his study at the back of the couple's Maroochydore home about 12:30pm today while bringing him his lunch, a bacon and peanut butter sandwich.

Paramedics were called to the house, but Elksteine was pronounced dead immediately.

The death comes just hours after the announcement that all Second-Division clubs, and the Tweed Heads portion of ARTTSL runners up Gold Coast-Tweed, had defected to HyperBall.

A spokesman from Queensland Health spoke briefly to the media, stating that while an autopsy would be performed, the most likely cause of death from initial observations of the body was a heart attack, and that murder or suicide seemed unlikely at this stage. He said it was apparent Elksteine had been dead in his study for up to two hours before being discovered.

However the timing of the death is already sparking a media frenzy with speculation that Elksteine may have been murdered by one of many enemies he is believed to have had in the Rebound Table Tennis world. Elksteine had been reported to have received threats, and indeed a number of subtly threatening comments have been posted on this very blog from time to time.
A neighbour, who identified herself only as "Mrs C", spoke to the media. "They were a lovely couple. He was nothing like they made him out to be on TV. He was very down to Earth. Sometimes he'd mow my lawn for me. But he didn't eat very well and could have stood to lose a little weight. Almost every day I'd see him arrive home through my front window carrying some sort of take away food for dinner. Still, I'm just devastated".

Elksteine was known for his high living, particularly in regard to food and alcohol, often visiting steakhouses and chickenhouses on his wide travels as ARTTSL Director. As recently as last night he was known to be dining while having his hair done at Kingswood Chicken Man and Hair, in Sydney's west, when the news of the defections broke.

While Elksteine often feigned disinterest in the HyperBall breakaway issue, many suspected this was a front and were actually concerned for his health and well-being, his wife Patricia being amoung those to voice concerns. A long-time friend recently spoke out in the media about Elksteine's deep-seated fear of losing control of the empire he'd built up over 15 years, saying this was taking a toll and driving his eating and drinking habits.

BERNARD ELKSTEINE, 1965-2010

Bernard Elksteine was born in Ipswich, Queensland, in 1965 to German immigrant parents Elma and Elka. The young Bernard showed early promise in all sports that involved rebounding of some form. He was Australian Junior Squash and Trampoline champion simultaneously in 1982, at age 17, and two years later competed in the World Airhockey Campionships in Los Angeles, an event held in parallel with the Olympic Games. Elksteine was said to be keen to qualify to compete for Australia in squash at the 1988 Olympics, but unable to cope with coming second in the World Airhockey Championships, Elksteine soon after sank into a period of depression and ultimately never reached his potential in rebound sports.

Elksteine's life is said to have turned around when, in 1995 at age 30, while living on the streets in Brisbane, he met Rebound Table Tennis legend Jimmy Spring, who employed him at his Rebound Table Tennis Dojo in Ipswich. It was here that Elksteine developed his management skills, and by 1998 his rebound was complete, as he was all but running the dojo. After the childless Spring's tragic death in a road accident in 1999, Elksteine inherited the Spring Rebound Table Tennis Dojo.

Seeing the wider potential for Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian Region, Elksteine was able to use the funds generated from the Spring enterprise to expand his system nationally, and in so doing set up a junior player development program.

The program led to the game's popularity flourishing and establishment of large dojos in many major centres across Austalia, New Zealand and later in Singapore in 2006.

The growth culmunated in the establishment of the Austalasian Rebound Table Tennis Super League in 2009, with investors throwing their money behind ARTTSL with Elksteine as President. This set Elksteine up as the unquestionable Rebound Table Tennis Supremo in the Australasian region. As all clubs are franchises owned by ARTTSL, they were ultimately controlled by Elksteine and had little say in their own affairs when it came to major decisions. Elksteine used this power to create, disband, merge and relegate clubs at will.

Elksteine was often criticised for his management style, which was described as "officious and autocratic". The fast expansion of the game under Elksteine's relentless drive and work ethic, particularly the establishment of a Second-Division competition, became largely unpopular with many involved in the game, and is seen as having ultimately sparked the Hyperball breakaway, with many keen to wrest control of the sport from Elksteine.

There was a litany of other points of tension, including the way revenues were distributed among clubs, and how draws were established, such as this year's Pre-Season Trophy in which Second-Division clubs had to play an extra game to qualify.

The future of ARTTSL now rests with the Board, who will meet in coming days to decide how to fill the substantial Elksteine void.

Tweed Heads + Second-Division Teams Defect!

All ARTTSL Second-Division sides, plus Tweed Heads, have formally defected to HyperBall and plan to play in their season later this year.

The Tweed Heads entry will be based in Tweed Heads but play under the name North NSW.

ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine has confirmed from Kingswood Chicken Man (where he was getting a haircut) that the matter is the subject of legal action just as soon as he finished his 3 chicken and chips and style cut, "And a beer across the road at the Kingo". The characteristic response is again likely an attempt to play down the HyperBall threat, but many believe he will soon be choking on his chicken rump as the HyperBall juggernaut gathers momentum.

It is now seen as unlikely that ARTTSL's Second-Division championship will preceed and that bottom three teams from this year's First Division Premiership, Perth, Melboune and Illawarra, are safe in First Division for next year's season, at least for now. However Elksteine hasn't ruled out forming new teams, although this is seen as unlikely being very difficult to administer.

More to come.

Newcastle Win Grand Final, Gold Coast-Tweed in Tatters

Newcastle are the 2010 ARTTSL Premiers, defeating Gold Coast-Tweed in the Grand Final in Newcastle.

The win caps off a metioric rise for Newcastle, having won Second Division in their first season last year, progressing to First Division and again winning on their first attempt.

By contrast, the Gold Coast-Tweed syndicate is in tatters, with the Tweed Heads Rebound Table Tennis Federation sensationally withdrawing from the joint venture with Gold Coast United hours after the match. No further meaning has been given to the withdrawal but there is strong speculation Tweed Heads may be considering entering its own team in Hyperball this year, a move that would likely result in legal action from ARTTSL as the club was contractually bound to only play in ARTTSL this year.

No formal announcement has been made, however a popular theory among analysts is that the fall-out in the joint venture began as early as the Quarter Final loss to Newcastle, with Tweed Heads management dissatisfied with tactics and team selections, after a number of their former junior players were left out of the squad.

It has been suggested that Hyperball have remained quiet in recent week, awaiting the completion of the ARTTSL season, after which they will announce their championship roster which would include a team based in Tweed Heads, and possibly covering a significant portion of the NSW North Coast. This may gain them more support in NSW where many people refused to follow a team which, despite playing half their games in Tweed Heads, were formally a Queensland team based on the Gold Coast.

Some have further suggested Tweed Heads were having an each-way bet, waiting to see if the joint venture team won the Grand Final before deciding whether to remain with the ARTTSL venture or defect to Hyperball. However these sensational claims have not been substantiated and all of the above is speculation at this stage.

Back to the match itself, it was a freezing winter night in Newcastle which many Newcastle fans believed would prove difficult for the northern visitors. However it was Newcastle who started unsteadily with some weak serving and at time bizarre serving options, however the scoreline remained close to half time, with Gold Coast-Tweed leading 6-4 at the break.

In the second half Gold Coast-Tweed turned up the power, seemingly deciding the match was there to be taken, and at first this seemed to be putting pressure on Newcastle, however Newcastle steadied and managed to lead 8-7 as they took their last service set.

A crucial turning point occurred when resident dog Ralph got hold of the ball. It was retrieved but was covered in slobber, and, as per garage table tennis rules, which fully apply in ARTTSL, dog slobber is part of the game. The resultant change in trajectory may have been the final undoing of Gold Coast-Tweed, who finally slipped to an 11-8 loss, handing the 2010 Premiership to Newcastle.

So ends the 2010 ARTTSL Season. The Second Division season is scheduled to be played later this year, if there are sufficient Second-Division teams for it to take place. All eyes now turn to the sleeping giant of Hyperball and if and when any teams will defect.

One thing is for certain, the war for control of Rebound Table Tennis in the Australasian region has only just begun.

Asked for his thoughts on the looming war, ARTTSL President Bernard Elksteine replied, "Hey, we're in Newcastle. Don't hey have a Sizzler here?.... Great let's go!"

Confident words indeed from the President, but many think he will be choking on his $20 rump when Hyperball announce their full intentions for 2010.

GRAND FINAL RESULT:
Newcastle 11 d Gold Coast-Tweed 8 (at Newcastle)