Disgraced Steve Smith Defects to Rebound Table Tennis

Bernard Elksteine has pulled off the biggest sporting coup since Jarryd Hayne took on the NFL, signing former Australian Cricket Captain Steve Smith on a lucrative 12 month contract for his new Rebound Table Tennis venture.

The deal was reportedly done by phone as Smith flew back to Australia from South Africa. Details such as which city or club Smith would play in were left open to determination as the competition quickly evolves.

The shock move was quickly justified by Elksteine, who noted Smith was one of the greatest exponents of bat and ball. “His unique skill with a bat - second on only to Don Bradman - quick footwork, and feel for spin through his leggie bowling action, I expect he’ll adapt quickly. It’s better for him than sitting at the pub for a year while he's banned from cricket”.

On arrival at Sydney Airport, Smith fronted the media, shedding tears of relief at the lifeline offered by Elksteine, who offered a supportive hand on Smith’s shoulder.  It was Elksteine's first official appearance on television in 8 years, although he kept his face out of the shot.

A tearful Smith expressed his relief, saying “I won’t let anyone down again. I’ll work hard in a year of Rebound Table Tennis.  I want kids to learn you don't have to wait around and put up with crap when you've made a mess.  Get out and move on. This is a good lesson to others then I hope I can be a force to change”.

Asked if he was concerned about the impact of Smith on sponsors, Elksteine replied "My competition thrives on that sort of stuff.  People expect it.  And we give people a chance at redemption.  I had to fake my own death yet here I am".