Henry Bird Interviews Illawarra Coach Aaron Merriman

Respected Rebound Table Tennis columnist Henry Bird sat down with Illawarra coach Aaron Merriman to talk about his side’s amazing start to the season, recent scandals that have rocked the sport, and crooner Tony Bennett! Here’s what he had to say…

Henry Bird: Aaron. What a turn-around. From wooden spooners in 2010, to undefeated table leaders after 9 round in 2011. What’s the secret?

Aaron Merriman: The secret? OK there are a few, I might get to some, but most of all we’ve just been playing great Rebound Table Tennis. Really focussing on the basics you know, keeping the ball in play and not getting too fancy except at the right time. Last year we were often guilty of being fairly erratic and trying to win each point too quickly. Young Jammie Maybin was a great off-season signing, he comes off the bench and adds the spark we needed at the right time.

HB: And the secret?

AM: OK, maybe there aren’t many. (pause) Alright there’s one I’ll tell you. Remember the reports the Goulburn HyperBall side were practicing with rolled up tin-foil because they couldn’t afford table tennis balls? Well, we heard about that and we had an idea: What if we try it, just for fun. And we found when the players practiced that way for a few days, then switched back to regular table tennis balls, the re-simplification meant their game just lifted.

HB: Any insights on how that worked?

AM: Well I think the re-simplification as I said, and I suppose it’s like the young Bradman practicing with a cricket stump and a golf ball against a water tank, you force your eye to become more attuned. I’m really happy with it, it’s a bit of an innovation which contributes to the sport overall, we’ll share that technique more at the end of the season maybe… may if we win the Premiership. Maybe.

HB: You were facing relegation to Second Division at the end of last season. All the Second-Division sides defected to HyperBall. Were you ever tempted to join them?

AM: Well personally no, I never consciously thought to be tempted, but we were tempted as you might say by external forces. We had visits from nameless HyperBall reps, not only at the club they came to my house, and a few of the players’ houses. It was pretty bizarre. They tried on the honey and the vinegar. First they’d make an offer to sign you personally, then when that didn’t work they’d offer to pay you under the table to lobby the club to defect, then when you still refused they’d start suggesting if we didn’t defect they’d make us all redundant by setting up a rival side in the Illawarra region. At one point they said they’d look at acquiring the West Wollongong Rebound Table Tennis club and building it into a viable side.

HB: You’re joking? They thought West Wollongong could field a viable professional side? It’s just a local amateur dojo with about 20 players.

AM: They were crazy times. I think they were desperate. And in the end our solidarity with ARTTSL was vindicated because we weren’t left high and dry with no funding for several months like the clubs that initially defected. To be honest I think they were bloody lucky Wilky (ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy) accepted them back and didn’t just scrap them, well except Tweed Heads, who were the worst of them after the split with the Gold Coast, seriously they had it coming. It’s ironic we played with tin foil anyway but that was our choice, our finances were just fine the whole way through. I think by rejecting the distraction we were able to get on with developing our team in the off-season and now here we are top of the table after nine weeks. It’s a nice feeling. We played it with a straight bat so we can hold our heads up. Also I suppose it’s worth adding that we knew if we stayed true ARTTSL would probably spare us the relegation to Second Division, which turned out to be somewhat true as they abolished the whole concept.

HB: What do you make of the Featherlite-Blowingpam scandal?

AM: I think it’s all bullshit. (stops to sip his coffee, then waits patiently for the next question)

HB: No other comment?

AM: No. Well OK I just think that Angus is a little snot who needs to be sorted out, and his parents have a lot to answer for. It's your typical Baby Boomer/GenY disaster story. It’s dragging the whole sport down. Tasmania were like the other defectors, they’re lucky to still be here. They should be more appreciative of what they have and get their house in order. I heard that Angus passed out next to the spa the other day from intoxication, if someone associated with this club did that they'd be out the door. Those distractions mean you're less likely to win games, they're 16th on the table I think and even that's probably more than they deserve.

HB: Right. Well moving on. Um. What next?...

AM: You seem to have lost your place…

HB: Yeah sorry, um, oh… I understand the team’s had some inspirational words from (crooner) Tony Bennett. How did that come about?

AM: (laughs) It wasn't the plan. We were actually hoping to get (St George Illawarra coach) Wayne Bennett in to say a few words to the boys, but Margaret on the front desk doesn't know much about Rugby League...

HB: ... what, so she called Tony Bennett?!

AM: No, she actually called Tony Barber, but when he answered she said "Hi, is that Tony Bennett?" Well, it turns out Tony Barber has Tony Bennett's number on his mobile for just such occurrences - it happens a lot apparently - so he gave her Tony Bennett's direct number. Tony Bennett was confused but intrigued, he knows nothing about Rebound Table Tennis as a professional sport so thought he'd take the gig to find out more. Apparently he's a bit of a garage ponger himself. So we got the team in the boardroom and teed up a teleconference. Tony spoke to them about what it takes to be successful, how he overcame adversity, all the usual stuff. Then he did a rendition of our club song, "Who? Illawarra!" over the phone in his classic style. It was pretty bizarre and we had a bit of a chuckle afterwards. I think Margaret saw the funny side mostly. Actually I've heard Tony Barber took her to lunch as she's a big fan and was disappointed he wasn't coming to the club himself.

HB: Aaron Merriman, thanks for your time.

AM: No wuckers.