Spring: "I'm here to play"

Jimmy Spring, the Godfather of Rebound Table Tennis, who was dramatically arrested at Melbourne Airport after "returning from the dead" (Morocco), has been released from custody and declared his intention to play in the 2011 ARTTSL Premiership.

Police were unable to justify any of the charges they were considering in regard to his alleged links to organised crime.

In an impromptu media conference, the 73-year-old stunningly declared, "I'm here to play".

"I've hired a manager. I'm fit, I've got my reflexes... I've been practicing for six months. I'm coming back. I was the best, I'll be the best again. I'll take them all on. I'm the spring that's been missing from the step of Rebound Table Tennis. You wait and watch". This brought a loud cheer from a small band of followers who had gathered behind the media scrum.

As to whether Spring can live up to his hopes depends firstly on finding a team willing to sign him, and then on being able to handle the stresses of modern Rebound Table Tennis.

Asked to explain his reported "death" in 1995, or any knowledge he may have on the true status of the "late" Bernard Elksteine, Spring flatly refused to comment.

The 2011 ARTTSL Premiership commences this weekend.