Mass Table Collapse in Delhi; Aussie Team Withdraws from Games

The Australian Rebound Table Tennis Squad have formally withdrawn from the Games after what is being described as a "mass, domino-style table collapse" in the new Rebound Table Tennis Stadium.

The team were near the end of their allotted one-hour session, in which teams were permitted to practice on the ten new competition-grade tables to become accustomed to them, when the collapse took place.

Perth player Ian McGovern, clearly still shaken from the incident, spoke to ARTTSL News outside the stadium shortly afterwards.

"It just came out of nowhere mate. One minute we were all practicing on different tables, next thing someone's maybe bumped a table up the end, maybe just nudged it you know nothing serious, nothing like what would happen in a big match, and down it goes. Ka-whump, and it hit the next one, and down it went too, then next thing, we're all like, shocked, looking at each other, then someone yelled 'RUN!', I can't remember who, but they were right 'cause next thing we're all literally running for our lives as the whole lot starts coming down, one after the other - whump whump whump, y'know. It sounded like a freight train. It's lucky noone was hurt. I mean I lost my best bat, the one I scored the winning point in the Pre-Season Trophy with actually, it got kind of pancaked in the table I was on as the backboard fell forward, but I'm more glad I got my hand out mate or I'd be suing the pants off 'em".

Asked if he was disappointed to be going home, a suddenly angry McGovern replied "Yeah. Yeah for sure. It's my first time representing the country. I was surprised to be picked in the first place and I was all revved up and ready to go. I'm gutted, truly. I guess I'll just have to wait for London 2012.... that's a long way off. Bloody hell, what a mess. I mean we knew they built them quick but you'd think they'd take precautions. What the hell did they use, toothpicks?!"

Given the seriousness of the collapse, it's likely the Australian withdrawal is just a formality as it seems unlikely authorities could arrange to re-build in time, and even if they did, it's unlikely anyone would trust that this wouldn't happen again. It appears Rebound Table Tennis will not be part of the 2010 Games.

The team is reportedly already en-route back to ARTTSL's Maroochydore headquarters, where they are expected to be briefed by officials before being released to return home.

The Australian team selection process was mired in controversy after ARTTSL went through with its threat to exclude players contracted to the rival National HyperBall League, shortly before the death of Bernard Elksteine.

3 Hyperball Clubs on Skid Row; Tuffy Extends "Olive Branch"

Rumours are swirling among the Rebound Table Tennis world that at least three HyperBall clubs are on the verge of filing for bankruptcy, being unable to meet their administrative payments.

Several unidentified sources indicate that the difficulties are due to the ongoing delay in the commencement of the 2010 National HyperBall League season, which is still slated to take place "some time later in 2010".

The only identified source is Goulburn Mayor Carol Jones, who, in a stunning statement outside the Big Merino yesterday, slammed HyperBall management for the ongoing delays.

"They rolled into town a few months ago promising big things. Naturally being a small and excitable city we were swept up in the hoo-hah and we put our money where their mouths were. But now it's been months, the honeymoon is over, and while they swan around in their head office down in Melbourne, we've got a small administrative office in Auburn Street going slowly broke as the funds run out. We don't even have enough money for new balls, our players are practicing with rolled up pieces of tin foil for heaven's sake. We'll have to start laying off staff soon. It's not good enough. We need games, we need gate takings. We need action. Nobody is moving forward on this issue".

Meanwhile new ARTTSL President Wilkington Tuffy has moved quickly, releasing a statement aimed at both HyperBall Management and their clubs, indicating that ARTTSL is willing to let by-gones be by-gones and negotiate a return to the fold for rebel clubs, or even a complete re-unification of the game, albeit under ARTTSL's own terms. This rhetoric is very different to that of late former President Bernard Elksteine, who declared that defecting clubs would not be allowed back to ARTTSL under any circumstances, and later died.

HyperBall management have released a short statement denying that any clubs were in trouble, and reiterating that their 2010 season will take place "some time later in 2010". Well, it's September, and we wait.

We wait....